I’m a college student (19F) living at home. My mom is leaving my “stepdad” (never got married just engaged) of nearly 10 years, and I can’t help but feel relieved. When I first met my stepdad as a kid, I admired him so much because I never had a father figure (single mom). But as I grew up, I realized my stepdad was a high functioning alcoholic. He grew up in a chaotic household, with a drug dealer as a father. He used to do many drugs but now only drinks alcohol as his “crutch”. Despite years of encouragement, then pleading, then harassment, he has never managed to stop drinking or change significantly. On top of this, he often would get hungover and I would wake up early in the morning to him screaming at my mom whenever she didn’t do everything right as he wanted. He also has very openly sexist views, and has shamed me for many things, such as crying, not shaving my body hair, wearing crop tops or other revealing clothes, and questioning my gender identity. But what has really solidified my intolerance to my stepdad is his actions in the past week (the reason my mom is leaving). What’s he’s done: - passed by multiple job opportunities because of his own laziness/ego - failed to do basic chores like laundry and dishes consistently, despite being unemployed for nearly 6 months - used money he borrowed from me for a potential job to instead go on a shopping spree - stole $100 from my room to spend on booze and cigarettes - cashed out his entire 401k from his old job to spend on stupid shit, like vacations and going out to eat - instead of accepting my moms judgment and moving out, decided to “prove himself” and acts like everything’s fine - threatened to destroy the countertops and floors that “he paid for”, etc. - plays victims and acts like my mom is the problem for “always yelling” at him He’s a man baby who is going to die alone and penniless just like his father (my grandpa). My worst fear is to wake up one day and realize I settled for a man like that. Thanks for reading.

EDIT: just found out through my stepsister that my stepdad beat her mom, pushed her down stairs, and would spend money meant for the kids to go out to the bar. Also, he was accused of molesting my stepsisters, even had to go to court and everything. He wasn’t found guilty but people are split. I was always afraid he would hit my mom, but luckily he’s never gotten to that point (lucky for him he didn’t).