Don’t know how to start so I’m probably going to be bouncing around. I feel I’ve missed out on what living is supposed to be. Just things I’ve noticed about my life that differ from what regular people go through.

I don’t need coffee to wake up and be productive. Never have. I like coffee, but to me it’s a treat. I like it sweet and flavored. But I don’t feel I need it to start my day.

I’ve never been drunk. Not even buzzed. I enjoy beer and wine, but I’ve never drunk to excess. Never blacked out, woke up next to a stranger, and I don’t have gaps in my memory.

Never been high. And I’ve tried many forms of weed. Hard candy, mint, brownies, oils, smoking. And I kinda need it. I have MS and it’s been shown to help with symptoms, but apparently not for me. And on that note, never done hard drugs. But no surprise there.

My sex life has been boring. I’ve only slept with two women. And I’ve had many girlfriends. Sex has never been a goal to me in a relationship. It’s always been about getting to know her and enjoying her company, and enjoying things together. I never talk about sex with anyone, because I don’t want to appear like sex is always on my mind. The stereotype of guys only wanting sex got in my head and I didn’t want to be that. So the two partners I’ve had I never asked to try anything, or asked what she wanted. Again, I don’t want to be seen as a pervert.

I don’t go to bars and clubs. I haven’t even been to concerts. I go to movies and shop. Never had a one night stand. Never hired an escort. I know I’m forgetting something, but my life has been boring compared to everyone else. And my MS has ruined future anything. I’m in a wheelchair so there’s assumptions about that. Can’t just go places on a whim. Sex is most likely over for me. I’m divorced with two kids, but they live with their mom. So I love and spoil them, try to give them the best I can. They’re my legacy. But otherwise I feel like I’ve wasted my life, and I can’t make up for it.