Title is contradicting, I know. For ten years I tossed up the idea of transitioning ftm but I’ve decided I’m not trans. For one, I’m not necessarily dysphoric. I’m not trying to be vain, but I am conventionally attractive as a woman. As a sex worker, this as been VERY beneficial. I have confidence in myself as well; as a teenager I did not. If I could push a button that would instantly make me an attractive cis male I would do it. The thing is though, I cannot guarantee that as a trans man. I can’t guarantee that I’ll be happier as a trans man and for that reason I’ll stay as a cis woman. I definitely feel euphoria appearing masculine and the thought of being perceived male excites me. Being an attractive woman though supports me financially and the compliments are definitely a confidence boost. I’ve only ever come out to my best friend since childhood about this in high school.