I was a mistress to a toxic person (still not sure if he’s a full-on narc) and our situationship was first about sex, but then we fell in love. He left back to his home country, as was always the plan, but I had to go NC after discovering he had another gf back home I didn’t know about. I was gutted. Heartbroken. Still am. I didn’t even start to consider he was a narc until everything ended. It’s been weeks of ruminating and manic researching.

But my question is, how do you deal with the feeling that this person just used you?

Especially if it was for sex. I’m a SA survivor, and he knew that, and he even expressed concern that I might feel like he was using me and at the time I reassured him I was fine.

I think my hesitancy to accept he’s a narc is bc if I do, that means his love wasn’t real. And if it wasn’t real, then I was just used for my body. Again. It’s causing me so much anxiety and grief. Has anyone else dealt with this?