Today, after many weeks of resisting and repressing my cravings for male genitalia… I downloaded Grindr to see if I could meet someone for a friendly, non-sexual lunch… i thought I was doing well until I received the first dick pic of the day…. It triggered an insatiable craving inside me and it’s like a switch flipped in my head. I responded back asking where he was at… he seemed close based on distance… he was no more that 6 minutes away… and he hosted… I was in danger. My girlfriend knows I’m bisexual but she doesn’t know that I still crave men from time to time… I tried to resist… I said I couldn’t meet because I share my location with my girlfriend… then he said that he had to go back to work soon anyway… I asked where he worked, hoping it was the same place I do… but it was just as good. He works at a local strip mall… it was too easy to ask him if I could blow him in his car in the parking lot of that strip mall. If my girlfriend checked my location I could just say I went out for lunch….

The whole time driving there I told myself I couldn’t and shouldn’t do this. But my brain was on autopilot.. driven by my slutty shadow.

I got in that car.. pushed my seat back and knelt on the passenger side while he whipped his dick out.. it wasn’t huge but it was nice.. his foreskin was a little tight around the head but I could still pull it back to make sure he looked good… I immediately put him in my mouth and started stroking him. He went for the deep throat and I let him… since his cock wasn’t huge, this was actually okay. He tasted fantastic and his skin was soft. His balls were cute and they felt wonderful in my hand.. I could feel the spit build up in the back of my throat and I knew that this blow job was getting so sloppy. I could feel myself getting lost in this encounter. At first I let him push his cock all the way to the back of my throat. But only for a few seconds because I was afraid that he would trigger my gag reflex. I have a really bad reflex and I did not want to mess this up. But the more I sucked his cock, the more I lost my self, I was losing all inhibitions. I wrapped my arm around his waist and grabbed his left ass cheek and squeezed it while my right hand fondled his balls even more. At some point, I decided to be brave and I just dropped my jaw and I let him go to work at the back of my throat as deep as it could go. I could feel the water spit just sitting in the back of my throat. I pulled his cock out with the intention of spitting it all over him, but my rookie self swallowed it instead, I didn’t care. I took that opportunity to lick his balls a little bit before I put his cock back in my mouth. I swear at some point it was like my throat was just swallowing him and spitting him back up over and over again I was I was literally massaging his head with my throat. The more I got lost in it the faster he went. I squeezed his ass harder. My right arm grabbed a stain and pulled him in closer. I wanted him as deep in my throat as I could possibly get him. I could hear him moaning faster, and I could feel his hips thrusting harder, I knew he was close. My mind went blank, and I just kept going, savoring every second of that cock in the back of my throat, shaft rubbing against my tongue. I wasn’t intending on swallowing his load, or maybe I was but I didn’t think I would go through with it. All of a sudden, I just hear him grunt, and before I realized it, his cum was running down my throat. I caught some of it in my mouth with the intention of spitting it out, but he honestly tasted better than I expected and so I ended up swallowing it and I got to say it was the most delicious part of the day. Funny enough, before actually meeting up he asked if I wanted to get my lunch before meeting him and I jokingly said no your load will be my lunch. Who was I? After I swallowed his load I expected to want nothing more than to leave the car, but I did not want to leave, I wanted to stay, I wanted more. I put his dick back in my mouth and I looked up every last bit of cum that I could find he was getting softer and it was very cute. I looked his balls even more and I put one of them in my mouth. I said up and he reached for the wipes. Sitting up I got another glimpse of his cock I couldn’t resist I went back and I put it back in my mouth and I sucked on it a little more. He said thank you and I said thank you and he says you know I park here every day I just said cool. I open the door to leave I step out and I stand up. I looked back inside and he’s cleaning himself up, again, I can’t fight the urge. I did my torso back in the car reach over the consul and put his dick in my mouth again just one last little pull. I parked next to him, so I go back and sit in my car looking to the right I can still see him cleaning up. I’m so turned on at this point I take my belt off and I am buckle my pants I pull my phone dick out. I wait for him to leave before I start stroking myself. The only thing on my mind is the feeling of that cock in my mouth and the taste of his come. It doesn’t take me long to burst. I do it in my hand, because I feel like I’m gonna eat my own come, but in the end, I don’t I end up, cleaning it off on one of the wipes that he gave me. But that ejaculation was very sissy lake. My dick did one small burst of cum and I could still feel myself orgasm mean so I kept stroking a little more and then my cum just dripped out slowly slowly slowly gushing out each time, but not going very far. I didn’t know what to think of myself, because usually when I have an encounter with another man as soon as I ejaculate, I want to leave, but not this time. Maybe because he came before me. I don’t know, all I know is that that was really good and I wanted more. I felt really guilty as soon as I was over like I couldn’t believe what I’ve done, or what I had allowed myself to do, I’m hoping it doesn’t happen again. And if it does, I hope it’s under better circumstances. I immediately deleted the app and deactivated my account but as soon as I got back to work, I wanted to re-download it again just to find that same guy and tell him that I had a great time, I want to see him again. So now I’m re-examining my relationship with my shadow and my slutty self and I hope that I can develop into something healthier because there’s no way that he’s going away or maybe I should say she.