I’m posting this here in search of any Christian-based answers. I don’t know if God cares but I’ve been in a lot of pain after breaking up with someone (a Christian woman) earlier this year. I don’t want to get into the details but the foundation of it was not good and I ignored it all because of sheer loneliness and sexual frustration and desires.

I was with a women for two years, someone over a decade older than me (I’m 23) and we broke up this spring. I had shared so much of my life and passions and hobbies with her that sometimes I’ll see something that reminds me of her and almost instantly break down. Makes it hard to enjoy that thing again.

We watched Cyberpunk Edgerunners together, and a song on the soundtrack became synonymous with the two of us. A lot of laughs and flirting. Now whenever I hear that song, I get hit with memories or those butterflies and good feelings she gave me and I break out into crying almost instantly. It hurts more because she told me that the song or anything to do with that anime instantly reminds her of me, so I know in some way I’ve caused the same hurt to her by breaking up with her.

Every night this past month my bones ache to reach out to her, to make up some excuse or reason just to send a text, hear her voice again. It was not a good breakup, not at all. One of the most horrible days of my life.

Jessica, if you ever see this. I miss you.