Hi everyone. I apologise for the essay. If anyone would take Thier time to read I would greatly appreciate it.

I call myself a lazy Christian which I'm not proud of and it's something I want to work on.

I grew up in a Pentecostal church. I went to kids group then youth group all the way up until I was 15 or 16. I gave my life to Christ in my 20s but the last 5 years or so I have fallen away from Christianity. I still believe but I don't do the things that most "good" Christians do.

• I don't pray regularly
• I don't read the bible
• I'm not a member of an active church/church community.

I want to try and make improvements on these but the hardest thing for me is finding the right church to go to.

When I was younger going to this Pentecostal church my father was heavily invested in studying the Bible and the Christian faith. In his studies he came across certain actions that this church were doing that he did not agree with. He had a few arguments with the head pastor And came to a decision to take the whole family out of this church and find somewhere else to go.

I don't know the whole details around this but I remember it being due to the use of "tongues" with no translation (he also believed the church just made it all up and wasn't legitamate) and that he didn't like how the head pastor taught the bible in the sense that it was very selective and there wasnt really any context around what was taught from the bible, verses were just picked and chosen. Also people falling over in the church and those kinds of theatrical antics. I feel like I need to ask him again as I didn't understand why. when I was younger I didn't understand.

Anyways, I'm not sure if things at this church 15 years later are still the way that they are or not, he doesn't go to this church anymore and I'll need to come to this conclusion myself when I revisit.

At a very high level are the reasons above justifiable to not attend this church? Maybe I'm focusing too much of the actions that this church do and I should just focus on building my relationship with God.

I have jumped around to different churches and gone back to the Pentecostal church one or twice for many years, but I'm yet to find a place to call home yet.

In the back of my mind I'm still attracted to go back to this church and commit whole heartedly. I know people there from many years ago and It has a great community of people. I enjoy how they worship but the way they teach the bible I'm not entirely fond of but maybe that's not such a big deal?

I call myself a Christian but I'm struggling to commit and find a church that's right for me

If anyone has any thoughts on this that would be great.