I dont know if I have a hypersexual disorder or something but I’ve been fighting with corn/lust for 10 full years of my life now and it’s destroyed my sense of worth in work and life.

I’ve resisted any opportunities to have sex before marriage but I’m giving up. All fighting my desires has done is make me bitter. I am stressed, I am tired, I am lonely, I am yearning to be touched or really seen or heard but around every corner I look it’s just the same “save yourself for marriage.” It’s the same thing over and over and I’m somehow supposed to be happy for friends I’m seeing get married or I’m supposed to be thankful for this awful never-ending “waiting season” that hasn’t done anything for me.

I’m tired. I don’t want to wait anymore. I feel empty and following God’s orders all my life hasn’t done much to rectify that. I know His orders are right and just and mean well. But this timeline is just making me worse.

I’m tired of being alone.