i saw this Christian youtuber showing her miscarriage journey, it is very sad to see. the parents were devastated. i thought back a few weeks ago how my mom told me before i was born she had a miscarriage, but the baby was only maybe 4-6 weeks? she didnt seem to have much of an emotional reaction and seemed to disregard the baby as she says miscarriages are very common.

but now when i thought of this baby i got really emotional. i am the one born almost right after.. sometimes i wonder if thats why mom has told me she felt something different with me when i was in her uterus. my younger sis and i wanted an older sibling, maybe a brother at many points, especially with what we went through. my moms brother (one born before her) unfortunately passed away AFTER he was born and i know my family thinks of him at times.

does this baby have a soul? is it normal to feel like this? will i meet both my older sibling and my uncle in heaven?