My wife and I were out with some friends for dinner last night and I couldn’t help but notice that she kept texting back and forth with someone. When we got home it continued for a bit while we were in bed and I asked her who was texting so late she said it was her friend Mary. This morning I hear the phone vibrating in the bed and my wife is sound asleep so I picked it up and saw it was a slew of texts from this friend Mary. I decided to snoop and here is what I read… starting with last night.

Mary: hey I invited that guy I met at work over, if you don’t hear from me in like an hour call the police.

My wife: haha, ok well good luck

Mary: hey, I’m alive! Barely. Phew lol

My wife: oh barely, so I assume that’s good?

Mary: yes! Very good. We just had sex for like an hour and it was amazing!

My wife: Wow, well that escalated quickly lol.

Mary: OMG you have no idea.

Mary: and I have to say his dick is amazing!

My wife: oh… I’m jealous. I’m at dinner but I’ll text you when I get home.

Mary: ok

My wife: hey, just got home… had way too many drinks tonight.

My wife: still up?

Mary: yeah, but not for long.

Mary: we just went round two and I’m exhausted.

My wife: lol, and I’m here hoping ____ falls asleep fast.

Mary: honestly though, the sex is amazing. His dick is so big, it feels so amazing. I was missing out all of those years married to Joe.

My wife: oh I miss those days, I miss being single. lol.

My wife: at least I can live vicariously through you.

Mary: hey morning, he just left.

Mary: feeling great today, lol. Call me when you can.

I was going to post the pictures of the texts but it was too much work to blur out all of the names, hopefully this was good.