So, a while back, I was seeing this guy who was absolutely convinced he was the guy. You know the type—big talk, even bigger ego, and just enough charm to make it tolerable. We went out a few times, and he’d always do this thing where he’d act like he was “teaching me” how to do basic stuff, like ordering wine or parallel parking. I’d let him think he was impressive because, honestly, watching him try so hard was like free entertainment.

Anyway, one night, he invites me over to “teach” me how to cook a steak. I know, groundbreaking, right? He spent half the night flexing about how he seasons it “just perfectly” while I sat there acting all impressed, like, “Wow, tell me more about how salt works.” When it was finally time to eat, he overcooked it. Like, way overcooked it. It was basically leather.

Here’s the fun part—I told him it was the best steak I’d ever had. I even asked for the “recipe.” His chest puffed up like he’d just solved world hunger. He turned to me and said “listen, i know you’re not having a good time… can we just fuck?” My eyes lit up.. i didnt expect him to be this forward. I was bored but this got me in the mood. I didnt even talk, i just walked up to him until we started making out. He threw me onto the kitchen table, ripped off my skirt and panties and started going down on me. His tongue was the perfect mix of warm and sticky… fuck it felt so good. He didnt even wait, he pulled his dick out after he realised i came on his tongue. Fuck… it was huge… not extremely but around 7 inches. He then slid it inside me and pounded me until i came multiple times. One of the best sex sessions i ever had lol.

He told me after… “i know the date was shit but come back whenever you want to get fucked like you deserve”… lmao it got me instantly wet. I keep seeing him and i cant stop. So lesson here is… if you cant perform on the date, just fuck her good