This is one of the dumber incidents that has ever occurred in my life.

But since it pertains to cock size I thought I’d recount it here. It also ties in to an older story folks have been asking for updates to.

A little backstory - some months ago my friend Jane separated from her husband, and my wife and I began having some incredible sexual encounters with her. A bit hard to explain succinctly but you can go back and read my other stories if you need more detail.

We had a glorious and very very hot few months but she recently decided she was going to get back together with him. It led to a true mix of emotions from my wife and I, but we were supportive of her decision.

Last week's Friend Christmas party was the first time we were all going to be in the same room together. I was a bit apprehensive as I wasn’t sure what the dynamic would be - I’m still not over Jane, and I didn’t know if her husband Dave knew what had gone on between us.

The first couple hours of the party went by and we all pretty much stayed away from each other. Food and drinks were had. And more drinks, and more drinks. Eventually the folks with kids started heading out, the party was still going strong but had thinned out, and it was getting harder to avoid them.

After using the washroom I turned into the hallway, and there he was. Dave gave me a wave, and walked right over, beer in hand. He’d had a lot to drink.

“Ah how ya been?” he blurted out forcefully.

“Good man, nice to see you.” I replied.

“I hear you’ve been fucking my wife,” he said.

Fantastic, I think. I don’t know how to respond, but he kept talking before I had a chance to.

“It’s ok man, I don’t hold it against you. We were separated. I don’t hold it against you. I don’t. All that matters is she came back to me,” he said.

I smiled dimly and nodded. He was straining hard to come across as though he didn’t care.

“I was seeing other women too. Tons. Hot ones. It’s all in the past,” he said.

“I’m happy for you,” I said flatly.

He was drunkenly searching my face, trying to get a rise out of me, but I wasn’t giving him much.

“Had enough of your shrimp dick I guess.” he said.

I couldn’t stifle my laugh. I wasn’t expecting him to go there. But he appeared to be serious.

“My what?” I asked.

“Yeah she told all about how all that big dick shit was made up,” he said, referring to the open secret throughout our friend group. “You wanted all the attention.”

“I do?” I asked, amused — as I have never in my life bragged or brought up my size to anyone I know.

“Yeah. Makes me sad for you, pathetic,” he said. “And mark my words, I’m gonna make sure everyone knows it.”

He was getting aggressive, crossing a line. I should have walked away but my mouth got the better of me.

“Hey man, she said what she had to say to get her old life back.” I said.

He took a moment, stunned.

“You’re full of shit man,” he said.

“I’m not gonna argue with you. I’m happy for you guys, I’m glad you’re back together,” I responded.

“Small dicked asshole,” he slurred.

“Seriously man, you’re barking up the wrong tree,” I said.

“You’re scared that you don’t measure up, she told me herself”, he said.

“Ok man, that’s great,” I said.

“Fuck you,” he said. But it was clear my de-escalation wasn’t enough for him, he wanted to humiliate me.

“Jane!” he yelled into the living room. “Jane, come here a second”.

I stood, both bemused and bristling, until Jane arrived and poked her head around the corner. She was a bit taken aback that we were speaking.

“Hi, Jane,” I flashed her a smile.

She looked at her feet and smiled wide.

“Tell this asshole that I’m bigger,” he said.

She stood slightly behind him, and looked up at me with an ‘I’m sorry’ look as she said “uh, let’s go home honey, I think we’ve all had enough to drink.”

“Tell him!” he insisted.

“Uh, I’m not gonna…” she began.

Dave let out a big sigh, his dumb drunk brain probably thinking “do I have to do everything myself around here?” Exasperated and intoxicated, he began to fumble with his belt and jeans. Jane and I watched in shock as he pulled down his pants and boxers, exposing his cock and balls to us. He had a completely normal looking package, but he grabbed it and waved it proudly; a pathetic example of inflated-ego mediocrity.

“She came back for this,” he said. “She came back for this.”

I couldn’t believe it. I’d known this guy for years, we’ve always been friendly, and it was so embarrassing that this guy would stoop to this level at a Christmas party. Admittedly we were down a side hallway and there was no one else around but the thought of someone walking by made me cringe.

Jane was red in the face and said ‘Dave, put it away’. But he persisted.

“Let him get a good look, guys never seen a man sized cock in his life.”

The pure absurdity and childishness of this guy was chipping away at my zen-like state. I looked straight at Jane, searching for her reaction. Her panic gave way to a smirk at his remark.

"See, I'm right, he can't prove me wrong," said Dave.

I raised my eyebrows at Jane, and she smiled and looked down. I really shouldn’t have stooped to this guy’s level. But I can’t lie to you, it’s exactly what I did. I reached for my belt.

I unzipped my pants. I pulled down my boxers, and out flopped my thick, long, flaccid cock. I stood still for a moment, before taking my manhood in my hand, mirroring his movements, and held them up up for him to see. I felt the cool of the air, the intensity of their eyes on my fat cock and balls, as I squeezed them together and shook them slightly, well aware this would be perceived as a taunt. I glanced back and forth between our junk, and it was night and day; I was at least double his size in length, girth, the lot. My left ball was the size of his whole nutsack. I looked at Jane, and she was blushing hard.

Dave was instantly furious. “What the fuck man!” he yelled. “What the fuck. Fuck you.”

He looked back at his wife, and made a pathetic attempt to cover her eyes with his left hand even as he still held his package with his right. He processed the amazed look on her face, and turned even more angry.

He turned to me and stumbled forward, cock still out, and aggressively pushed me. Jane shrieked. It must have been a hilarious sight. I stumbled backward, dick flopping all over the place as I steadied myself. He pulled up his pants and stormed out of the room.

Jane and I stood for a moment in silence. We were both absolutely shocked. I began to stuff myself back into my pants.

“I’m so sorry about that,” said Jane. “He’s just coming to terms everything, but he was acting like a child.”

“God, Jane, I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have stooped to that level,” I said.

She smiled dimly.

“Honestly, it’s a lesson I think he needed to learn. Can’t go around like he’s god’s great gift forever. Not when I know otherwise,” she said.

I gave her a kiss on the cheek and left the room.