Hi there, I use to think that I experience romantic attraction for the longest time, but now I’m not so sure anymore. I desire to kiss, hold hands and have sex with another person, if makes me feel really flustered and cared for. But then once the sparks of a relationship begins to disappear I don’t feel anything for that person anymore, no butterflies, no desire to be committed, nothing. we’re basically just friends at this point. I see people still desiring to be with their partner even though the sparks of the relationship have disappeared and I often find it really weird that they’re making HUGE sacrifices for someone that only feels “like a friend to them”. Do they feel something for this person that I don’t? Because I don’t feel anything once the sparks have disappeared.

I hear things online that “love multiplies with time” and “your bond will grow stronger”, I don’t feel these either. Love for me is just “wow, she’s really pretty” And “I like holding hands with her” but once we’ve been with each other for a month the love feelings just begin to disappear and I don’t feel like I’m in love with that person anymore.

I see fictional love in movies and see how cute and wholesome it is. Like I want it to be that way for me, where every day with that person feels amazing.

But then I see irl relationships and see how boring they are. It feels like a chore to me, it’s not amazing like the movies portray it to be. It’s allot of time, work and effort.

I really don’t understand how people keep going once the sparks of the relationship disappear, is there some other emotion I’m not feeling that they do? I see them making HUGE sacrifices for their partner. How do they make huge sacrifices for someone that only feels like a “friend to them”? I’m starting to suspect that what I’m feeling is not love, but actually lust.

I’m starting to suspect that I don’t feel romantic attraction, all of my fantasies are grounded in fantasy and not reality. irl relationships don’t appeal to me and I’m not really sure what I want or if I could ever truly be in a relationship.

I’ve thought about the idea of being in a platonic relationship so I don’t die alone and have someone to watch over my shoulder. But it would only be for those reasons only.

However despite this, I still desire some kind of intimacy, but I’m not sure if there’s really any kind of relationship style out there that would suit me. Am I just destined to be single forever?

I’m starting to think I might be aromantic but I’m not entirely sure the label fits me. So if there’s any other orientation that describes what I just put on this post, please let me know.

So I guess my questions is, is love just friendship with extra steps?