Hello brand new trucker here got my CDL late August trained in a 28” flatbed got my first job with an OTR 53” dryvan 3 weeks later, and I’m loving it but at the same time I suck at this shit. Damn near every week I scrape p or do some stupid thing that makes me contemplate leaving tho I love the travel aspect the money and driving. What do I do? Well first I was backing and rubed my headlight against a trailer cracking it had to go to freghtliner to get a new one hit up one of my trainers he said just tell ‘‘em someone nipped you at a truck stop, next up I backed into a hotshot it was dark my tablet was screaming DOT VIOLATION making me panic and rush and I didn’t see my trailer wasn’t straight in the hole. I’m freaking lucky I hit the the rear door of the hotshot and not the driver door the driver was sitting at just recording the whole thing no horn or anything. Accident #1. Next I went down a deadend street plenty of space to make a u turn and safe but because I heard that there’s probably something that’ll detect a uturn and flag me I decided to go through a tight parking lot and someone came out and filmed me face and all but I was able to say my bad 1st day no damage and back out and found a better turn around. Next I couldn’t find parking for 3 hours then went down a road that said bridge no trucks with 3 axles and carrying 33tons. I did the math I was good with 26 tons but the 3 axles was stumping me in total I have 5? called police they didn’t know what I should do not able to make u turn after 2 hours of back and forth dispatch said just send it. I go nothing bad happens other than 8 tablet DOT violations resulting me with a write up even tho the cause should be excusable right? And 3 days ago I accidentally high hooked damaging the wing that makes the truck aerodynamic and now a second write up. or my absolute worst incedent pitch black dark absolutely blind though I hugged the outside line trailer hits the curb and all I hear are screams I straightened out saw they were good but scared screamed my bad and left. I keep telling myself I’m learning my own kinks be patient G.O.A.L stop guessing where u are but ahhh it’s just my actions are not excusable and costly for the company and potentially dangerous. I just worry for my next write up if I go to a new company will I make less than the 0.40/mile I make due to my record will I continue to mess up tho I learn and oooof what will I do in real winter weather … anywho just wanted to vent as well as hear your thoughts. I wanna keep goin I really do but it’s understandable if I shouldn’t.