Vol 2 - Etiquette and Emotions

As we may have previously mentioned before, this series is meant to share our experience with swinging and its not necessarily an erotic piece. Its a factual account dealing with how we would have encountered challenges and the amounts of great experiences we shared.

At times in swinging, the early engagement can be make or break for a lot of persons. And to the men out there, we especially need to be mindful of how we communicate. We need to strike the right balance between excited and calm.

There is also one sometimes unspoken truth about swinging. Most couples start of by looking for a woman to join. In fact, that's how we started as well. Inevitably that's not very common or easy to find in Trinidad so they then pivot to accepting a couple. In doing so however, they sometimes forget or neglect that in the couple you are now speaking to there is an entire human who just happens to be a man 😂

For many couples, like us, we are into swinging because we enjoy it and we enjoy the experience with our partners. While we may be attracted to the new potentials we are not doing it because we just want to fuck other persons. That's pretty easy to do or to get. So when you start talking to a couple be mindful that neglecting any person on the other side may actually be a huge turn off.

Always establish clear lines of communication and terms of engagement. If the 4 of you decided to start a group, then fellas, dont immediately message the other female directly. Some folks are ok with it but again be mindful. Also, don't let your woman message the other woman directly to find out if she is willing to meet the 2 of you alone. This is in poor taste since you started engaging as a couple. A lot of people try to work around this by offering trades of the females for FFM fun. This is something you should build to after discussion. When you go to this too early it becomes clear what your true intentions are.

As in our previous post we urge and recommend that you be as upfront and transparent as possible with your intentions and interests. You never know who you are speaking to on the other side and what they may actually be into. So jumping the gun may actually turn a couple off who was willing to actually do the thing you wanted to in the first place

Now for the emotion side of things. So, its actually quite normal for both parties to be a little apprehensive at first. You would naturally have thoughts like, 'I wonder if he/she is only interested because they wanna fuck other people,' 'Will he/she like the other person more,' 'Can the other person fuck/suck/kiss/touch better than I can.' We will tell you that they are all valid emotions and questions you would have as you try navigating in the lifestyle.

We may have mentioned it before but its really not gonna work out too well for you if one partner is only doing it to please the other. In plain language and this is me addressing the fellas again, Fellas! doh pimp out yah gyal just to have another pussy. Decide fully that you into it and then go through. If you are in the market for a female for a threesome then stick to that. Dont upgrade up to a couple swap only to fulfill a need.

That being said, how do you then deal with the emotion in the lead up to and after the act. We would recommend at the most basic level determine if you can deal and cope with your partner being with someone else in front of your eyes. You may encounter an instance where the other party might be a better lover in one way or the other. If you keep in mind that its not a competition, if your goal is derive increased pleasure and experiences for you and your partner then in a weird way you should embrace that with an open mind. Its also a learning opportunity for you and your partner. Sex is no different to any other regular activity in that, experience, variety, practice etc adds value and improves over time.

Now to share our personal experience on this topic of emotion. To this day my GF would get a little jealous in the lead up to the meets and after at times. Sometimes it can be for the smallest detail like if I respond a little too excited in the group chat or say something during the meeting. How we have learned to cope with this is to avoid make it an issue and having an argument over it. I accept and understand that those feelings are legitimate and since our intention is to share intimacy with another party it therefore only natural that it would come up. We allow for time and just talk it through. In her defense, these feelings mostly last all of 5 mins, then we talk it out and shes back to being super horny again in no time.

Another experience we had from the other side was that I (Male) was accustomed to being the star performer of the shows we would have had before. Until we met a couple with a guy that was very talented. In fact, he was so talented that he got my GF to squirt! We had been trying to achieve this for 3 years or more with no luck. I also fancied myself to be skilled at this as well because its something i would have achieved with others. Needless to say, it stung a bit and the emotions did enter and occupy my mind for a while. It was a blow to the fabled and equally as fragile male ego. We spoke about it and i shared my feelings openly it was not all smooth sailing but we patiently talked it out. Again, this was not prolonged and further more we flipped it into an opportunity. We were actually glad that we realized that my GF did have the ability to quirt after all. I was also invested in her pleasure as well and it was not the last time we met with that guy. In fact, we chose him for our first MMF.

I know this one was a long one, so please forgive us for that. Long story short people, mind your manners, not because people are swingers mean they tustee for sec from anyone. Always be respectful to all parties. Embrace the emotions even the negative ones and be quick to turn it into opportunities. Last but not least, same as the last post, if you decide to swing, then do it for the right reasons.