The tooth pain is completely unbearable. there is throbbing throughout my face. It’s going on day 3. My sleep is not well, I’ve been using medication to help me fall asleep, as it is not possible with the pain. My days have been busy from morning to night with responsibilities and not stop pain. I find myself screaming at the top of my lungs when returning into my truck after leaving a store. I find myself physically snapping at any inconvenience. My idea of self harm has never been higher that it is currently. It takes a lot for me to say this. But I’m starting to rationalize how much better life would be for my family if I wasn’t around, miserable, in constant pain. They were the reason why I held back, but the pain is beyond anywhere it has been before and I know this is or what they want to see. One part of me is scared to be having these thoughts but another part of me find relief in the idea. As the weeks, months, and years have progressed with this pain, I’m becoming comfortable with the idea.