Married 5 years, and had trauma in my past where I was groomed and almost bred, when i realized what's happening. I disconnected from the situation, found a vanilla bf, and got married. I thought I had lost my ability to orgasm based on that experience.

Recently, I started talking to someone on reddit. He started playing with my brain, making me eventually submit to him. He make me wear a jewelry as a mark of his ownership. That's the first time I orgasmed in 9 years.

Next day, he 'owned' my online persona. I had to write about him in my description and tell every man that messaged me that I was owned. Playing with myself while doing it, I got my second orgasm.

My brain is further ruined clearly now because I crave his abuse and I have no idea how to orgasm without him. He enjoys this too much and makes me do more degrading things. That makes me orgasm even harder creating a strange cycle.