I do not feel valid! I’ve realized the past few days I’m desperately trying to either just write myself off as cis, or embrace being non-binary or a trans woman, but none of that is accurate!

I finally had my first femme day and I’m out to more and more friends and I keep realizing I’m getting gender euphoria from being femme and masc, but not in between, and I can feel myself fighting off the feelings that I’m just a crossdresser or that I’m just living out some fetish. I’ve been struggling with this awhile but ESPECIALLY after the femme day I’m really wrestling with myself.

It does not help that of my myriad of trans friends, some are supportive, but some also just seem to be waiting for me to come out as a trans woman and that doesn’t feel accurate? Like I don’t just abide being a guy, but the choice to be a guy feels amazing and I do actively feel euphoria from ir at the right time. Genderfluidity and bouncing between the binary feels the most right to me and I just feel like that’s either upsetting or wrong to everyone.