So I’m slowly socially transitioning, coming out to loved ones and friends, and my partner/fiancé is getting pretty comfortable referring to me as partner before a gendered term and referring to us as a queer couple. As a pan woman, she’s actually made a few jokes about us finally being the “queer power couple” she dreamed of being in.

There’s a kicker though. Despite the fact I’m not a man (or just a man at least) I still feel very uncomfortable referring to myself as queer? I still am attracted chiefly to women, and I can’t really call myself a capital M Man at all, and am getting cozier with she/her pronouns. But the moment I’m referred to as queer or a lesbian I get really uncomfortable.

Is this because of internalized homophobia? Or maybe just how new this still is? Has anyone else gone through this uncomfortability?

EDIT: I’m genderfluid/slowly accepting transfem