I'm a writer working on a story that involves people of mixed gender identities. I'm a trans woman living in a place where I have functionally 0 contact with other queer people, and have not been in any situations like the one I need to describe. So as a hypothetical, I want to know from the perspective of a person who uses they/them pronouns how they would respond to a certain issue.

Imagine a friend invites you to lunch with other people. These other people know your identity, use your pronouns, know how you want to be presented and have no problems being inclusive. Now imagine that said friend invites another new friend, someone you haven't met. This person was raised in a deeply conservative household, has no experience with queer people, and clearly doesn't understand the deal with pronouns and struggles to pick up on yours, or why you use gender neutral ones.

How long of a grace period would you give this new person before you'd tell them to please respect your pronouns regardless of how you present, or ask the other friend to not invite them when you'll be there? Would you not want to interact with them anymore, or are you willing to ignore it because they honestly don't know better?

I think I know how I want to write the scene, but I'd like input from people who are nonbinary, genderfluid, agender, or otherwise use they/them pronouns where it can be confusing for people who are not familiar with the queer community and don't understand the terminology and the importance of it.

Thanks in advance.