I am a post too surgery FTM but I'm not on T yet, I have to wait three months for my appointment with the endo, I know it's not so long in the grand scheme, I have been waiting for this since I found out you could transition medically (a couple years I came out at 11-12 and I'm turning 16 in a month) I also know I'm really priveleged to be able to get hormones and surgery at my age. Recently I've felt like offing myself a few times, (I'm ok I have a good support system).

I feel like a little fucking freak. I look and dress masculine but I have a hight pitched voice. I get gendered correctly most of the time, but not all, I feel like some weird creature that's stuck in between male and female, I just want to be on t and get bottom surgery done so I can live normally and be myself without having to worry about the stupid "trans" community (parentheses referring to trenders) ever again.