I would watch other trans men get overly happy and excited about being on testosterone and getting top surgery. I did get excited at the thought of it once it was confirmed to happen for me.

But when I got it and spent time after it, I never got that euphoria that people bring up. The way others have framed it is similar in how most women feel when they find the right wedding dress or those videos of people being able to hear for the first time with special equipment.

Mine was more like when you take aspirin or Tylenol for a headache. It’s something you really want and are desperate for sometimes but once you take it and the pain stops it’s over. No happiness or extreme joy just relief that the pain is gone and you get to move on.

Because of this it frustrates me when the online trans community tries to say that euphoria is all you need for transitioning, not dysphoria. That would be like overdosing on Tylenol and claiming it’s for a headache you never actually had but really it’s because you think you’re going to get high from it.