I just need to get this off my chest. I'm 1 month and a week on t and I feel like I should be more excited but my depression/dysphoria/internalised transphobia? keeps repeating that I am deluded and am ruining my body, putting my health at risk, i wont be "cute" anymore, i wont be masc enough, my family is going to call me names and abandon me when they find out, and nobody will love me or want to date me if I keep going. I overthink the changes and have been hanging on a hope that t will change my hair colour (this is a really irrational insecurity of mine, my hair is extremely light and I've only ever seen people make fun of masc ppl with light facial hair calling it "flesh colour".. i just wanted to be born wirh dark hair :ccc ) Compliments are nice, but it's hard to stay strong when I feel so alone with my issues... These feelings rly set in when I downloaded a dating app and tried to put myself out there. It made me feel so hopeless and ugly and ugh... idk I wish I didn't care so much about this stuff