It's a whole complicated situation.

I broke up with her in 2019 because I woke up and realized a lot of her behavior amounted to emotional abuse, and I got out of there.

When we started dating, I knew she was a lesbian and she knew I was nb, and in the process of transitioning to be more masculine. It was hard for me because whenever I reached a milestone, I wondered if this would be the one to cause her to stop being attracted to me. But she never said anytbing to discourage me. She started saying things like "I'm attracted to women and trans masculine people" to make it clear she recognized my identity.

A year ish ago she started dating my friend, who had just come out as ftm and separated from his straight cis husband, who opposed his transition.

Then out of nowhere this past Tuesday he messages me asking if she ever cheated on me or been manipulative. Turns out she cheated on him with a woman. It's a big deal because he is immunocompromised but she is minimizing the harm and not letting him express his anxiety without making it about her shame and guilt instead. (You know, like an abuser).

That in itself was enough of a blow to my psyche this week but this morning it just got worse.

Another mutual friend (mtf) has been vaguebooking about someone who once broke her heart by rejecting her because she "isn't into men", even though she already knew this person was beginning to transition. Super invalidating. Then this morning the vaguebooking suddenly matched up with the story I'd been told about my ex. It is 100% the same person.

When I opened the messaging app to talk to the friend who had been vaguebooking, I saw that my ex messaged me on Thursday. I haven't opened it up yet.

There us SO MUCH more to this story. This is just the stuff directly tied to gender/sexuality. I have so much feelings.

Any support is so appreciated. I'm triggered as Fuck now.