Feeling extra depressed today posting my stroy here incase anyone can empathize or might be going through similar issues.

My biggest regret in life is the mistakes I made when I was deep into trans-denial: At that time I was a Diehard Maga-hat Wearing trump supporter. (Im sure you know the type) I spent more time than I care to admit watching content produced by conservative influencers like Ben Shapiro, and was that one annoying guy on facebook that would comment on peoples posts to start political arguments. I also prayed to god on a regular basis to "Please make the gay go away."

Ovbiously it didn't. I eventually came to the realization that dysphoria will never go away and the only way to truly be happy is to transition...

Sadly my past behavior resulted in me alienating myself from many of my friend who would have been supportive. My circle was down to just two closet and oldest friends who also went through dramatic shifts in thier personalities and political views around the same time I did.

(Changing Names for Privacy purposes) Mary a woman who was formerly a trans activist, raised by two lesbian parents. Now a TERF, and Jake. (who is also Mary's husband) whi was formerly an LGBT ally and active member of Kink community's. Now a redneck-wannabe conservative evangelical Christian.

I came out to them 6 months ago. At the time I figured that they may have changed but I thought thier history would mean they would come around... They didn't.

Our dynamic was never the same after I came out. Our interactions continuously felt akward and forced. Mary for a time tried to be supportive. She went makeup shopping with me once and at least put in some kind of effort. But it was a painfully awkward experience. Jake, continued to be his usual self send me the transphobic memes and try to debate me on whatever the "Trans people are bad" conservative talking point of the week was.

When Matt Walsh released his hate film "What is a Woman" he came over to my apartment and tried to get me to watch it with him...

I got about half way through before I had to turn it off....

Once I learned finally to accept my self for who I am; my political views shifted towards the left. What I perceived as aligning my political views with my true self and deprogramming form the radical ideology I hid myself behind... Jake perceived as "Woke gender ideology warping my preception of reality."

Eventually I got tired of trying and just stopped talking to either of them. They aren't going to return to the people they used to be. Our interactions will only be awkward at best and arguements at worst.

Cutting them out of my life hurt. Especially when they were the last real friends I had in my circle.

I know the only thing to do is keep moving forward... And I will..... But today is so fucking difficult...

Right now I just feel guilty; for alienating the people who would probably be in my corner today. And for influenceing/enabling my "friends" to become the unsupportive/uncaring people they are today.

(Fyi please excuse the typos posted this from my phone)