Well long story short, I "came" out to my wife when we first got married 15 years ago. I let her know that I questioned my gender and that I would wear women's clothing, wear make up etc. But never stated that I was trans...because I still didn't know.

Since then, I struggled with accepting it, so it got to the point that I never discussed it, and kept my feelings a secret once again.

I finally had the courage to talk about it again today. I told her these feelings never went away and I don't see it ever going away..that I feel disconnected with how I look on the outside with how I feel inside.. and she responded well :)

I honestly have such anxiety from having this conversation, but I think I'm happy that I did. I still have some issues with accepting this, and feel doubtful at times... but I know I often feel that i want to transition and start hrt.

So we decided that I will talk to my old therapist about these feelings to get some clarity regarding this very long struggle.