Hiya,

First off I'm sorry if this sounds like I'm just venting, I'm really not. I just wanted to share the steps I've taken over the last few weeks with the people who are most likely to understand. Also apologies for the really long post.

1. End of relationship.

For starters, my relationship with my gf ended. For context I had already come out to her a few months ago, and she was extremely supportive. I couldn't believe it, she said that whatever happens with friends and family we will figure it out together. We even spent time finding outfits for me, discussing what would look good, and spent the day together as girlfriends. I was genuinely super happy.

However a couple of weeks ago, I mentioned to her that I'd like to get serious about this and move to a different country where I could socially and medically transition and overall get the gender affirming care I need. This time her response was not so jolly. She said she needed to think about it and a few days later, she told me that, she will support me not matter what but only as a friend. If I do transition, she will not be able to continue being with me. The resulting pressure from family and the fact that she is straight, were her main reasons.

Faced with this situation, there was no other logical route left but to end things. It was silent and somber at first as she packed her things, but eventually we both broke down crying. Now I seem to be in a situation where she is angry at me as she came by to pick up some stuff. I didn't engage her and just sat there silently.

1. Came out to my best friends.

Following that my best friends saw my looking extremely low/down and they asked me what happened. In a wave of emotion I came out to them. And as I had expected from them, they were very supportive of everything and have been doing their own research to educate themselves on trans people. I freaking love them ❤️. They have been encouraging me to go to a more trans friendly country as well since I told them. Overall the best possible reaction they could have had.

I'm now working on the relocation plan and hopefully will be able to go through with it in the first half of 2024.

I'm in an odd state of mourning the loss of the relationship and celebrating the fact that I'm blessed to have such great friends.

Tl;DR: Ended relationship with gf because she said she couldn't be with me if I actually transitioned. Came out to best friends and they have been awesome!