Once you pass whatever is your man’s standard, the importance of physical beauty drops off a cliff real quick. It’s a necessary but not a sufficient condition.

The deepest physical desire is fed from the mind, soul, and heart.

There’s nothing that gets me harder than knowing that I own a woman and that, together, we are establishing our own kingdom on Earth. That there is order, hierarchy, peace, and calm. That she accepts her place as a woman and looks up to me as a man. That she has faith.

It’s the little secrets and vulnerabilities that follow from our hidden knowledge. That she needs me to lead. That I need her submission to feel whole.

There are many reasons why a trad couple might get out of that headspace from time to time, chief among them that we’re whole, complete humans and not just 24/7 arousal machines. But the one that makes me the saddest is when a beautiful, submissive woman in service to her man sees herself as anything other than the beautiful gift she is because of what she perceives as a physical defect. It’s a disservice to herself as much as it is a disservice to her man.

If you trust him and are in full submission to him, treat his desire for you with the same deference that you would treat his instructions. Work to see what he sees in you from his eyes. Pay less attention to Instagram, TikTok, and whatever is the body image controversy du jour that preys on your insecurities. Let his desire be your validation.

The more that you believe in his arousal, the more you can be the gift that he sees in you. Believe in him and let it heal you.