Hello people of Reddit, I need to get something off my chest about a long-time friend—or maybe a former friend—whom I treated with nothing but respect. All I ever wanted was to be treated the same way I treated him. He’s been pushing my limits lately. We’ve been friends since 7th grade, and now we’re both 34. He’s constantly texting me to hang out, almost every day. He has bipolar depression and is on medication, which I try to be understanding about. But recently, our hangouts have turned into a monologue marathon—he talks non-stop, and I can barely get a word in. Just the other day, after enduring two hours of this, I glanced at an article titled "Biological vs. Chronological Age," and he reacted like I’d personally insulted him. It was way over-the-top.

I feel like I’m walking on eggshells around him all the time. He repeats the same stories, stories I have heard or was actually there. It’s very hard for me to get a word in most of the time. He forgets major details about my life, like my battle with cancer. Today, he asked me to hang out, and I told him I didn’t feel safe being alone with him and would prefer a third person present. I explained that I’m constantly scared of saying the wrong thing and don’t feel comfortable being myself around him. He got angry, accusing me of causing drama. He said he only got upset because I did, but I was just reacting to his response because I could see I had said something wrong.

After 20 years of friendship, I’ve seen his rage, and I’m always on edge, worried that one wrong word or sentence could lead to something bad happening. He blamed me for being scared and upset, saying he only has this problem with me, which I find hard to believe. Sometimes, I show up happy, and he’s in a mood, so I tone it down. All I want is for him to treat me with the same love I show him, but it feels like he’s a robot, never really understanding me. I know more about him than he does about me.

One time, I greeted him with “How are you, sir?” which is just how I talk to people, and he got upset because he associates that phrase with his past in hospitality jobs. I even visited him in jail 10-15 years ago. It feels like all I do is try not to set him off—saying less, listening to the same stories over and over, watching videos I don’t care about, and still being respectful. Yet, he treats me like I’m overly sensitive.

He sent a few messages back, accusing me of always causing drama. He told me I needed to “seriously chill,” and when I calmed down, I could “cruise over.” I don’t get it. I break my back for him, respect him, and when I tell him he scares me, he makes me feel like I’m causing drama again.

My last text was, “You need help, Shawn. Something is seriously wrong.” I’ve promised myself there’s no going back, but he made me feel terrible just for expressing myself. He berated me again, and now I’m left wondering if I was ever really valued in this friendship. Here I sit, tears in my eyes, feeling foolish and most likely more foolish to you.