I've had tourette syndrome since I was 6. I'm 29 now and my condition has only gotten worse. Because I have chronic pain and insomnia due to my tics, I do independent contracting work like Doordash. Setting my own schedule is the only thing that works for me right now and I've been on disability since I was a child.

I hate how I'm judged all the time when it comes to dating. Conversations before and during dates go well. I like to think that I'm a pretty likable and smart guy and normally don't have a problem in the beginning stages of seeing someone even though they are aware of my TS. I get along well with people and have never really had a bad date.

As soon as someone finds out I do Doordash or I'm on disability their entire attitude changes. I'm treated like I'm lazy or a loser. The thing is I'm far from that. Despite all of my struggles I managed to buy a plot of land a few years ago that I will eventually build a house on. It's a goal that I've been working towards for quite a while and am making progress but still a few years away.

I can't help that I can't sleep like a normal person. I can't help that I can't work a regular job like a normal person. I don't even have control of my own body. Why am I always treated like I'm just choosing not to do these things?

I have been talking to a girl for a while and today the conversation of work got brought up (I always dread this conversation) she knows about my TS and didn't have a problem with it but when I told her I do Doordash and normally am up late at night due to trouble sleeping her response was-

"I just don't understand what's stopping you from working a more normal job at the moment. Everyone gets tired sometimes, you just have to do it"

I am SO sick of people telling me what I just HAVE to do. They have no clue what it's like to live with this. They don't understand how tired my body gets yet how I'm unable to sleep because I can't stop moving.

The thing is, even though I don't work a traditional job my expenses are extremely low and get a a monthly disability payment which allows me to save a lot of money. My condition and being on disability is what actually made me be very financially disciplined. I have an excellent credit score and am very good with how I spend and save.

I have life goals and am on a good path. I will eventually be a home owner. Yet, I'm treated like an outcast. I'm a loser who just doesn't want to work a "normal job" and uses my lifelong chronic condition as an excuse.

Sometimes I feel like there's no point in ever trying to date and that I'll never find someone who truly accepts me for who I am.

I have seen some of best doctors in the world and have tried every treatment imaginable. I have accepted myself for who I am and what I have but I'm at the point in my life where i just want to love someone.

I'm a good guy who brings a lot of value to a relationship. I'm respectful, caring, romantic and faithful but it never seems to be enough. The one thing I truly can't change about myself always seems to be my Achilles heal.