I’m changing my ways. I’m fed up of Grindr which I find totally unreliable, transactional and unsatisfying. I know guys much hotter and fitter than me who feel the same, so it’s not me, it’s the platform.

I run my own business so have very little free time and what I have is too precious to waste on someone who’ll flake without letting me know because they got a better offer… or just weren’t feeling it. I get it - sometimes you ain’t in the mood. You knew we weren’t meeting when you decided not to douche, so why didn’t you tell me?

I feel that I put a LOT of energy into my meet ups: I bring my A-game. If you have to be begged to bring your C-game… actually, that won’t be me because I don’t beg. Go find someone on your page.

Anyway. going forward, I have a set of ‘rules’ that are as binding on me as they are on the other guy. Now I re-read them they seem obvious, but we’ve all had them broken on us now and again (unless you’re lucky. Very lucky). What are your thoughts? Any I should add/remove? AITA?

WE BOTH AGREE THAT: We act like adults and respect each other. Our time for sex is limited. We won’t waste it. If one of us doesn’t want to meet, we’ll tell the other. If we say we will meet, call or text, we will. We will arrive at meet ups on time. Adults can do that. We will test regularly for STIs and report positive results. We don’t fuck if we have an STI. Nobody ‘gives’ you an STI. You get it from the behaviour you choose to engage in. If you can’t have a mature discussion about sex, you’re not mature enough to have sex. We prefer a no-sex meet first. We don’t use condoms.