this may be triggering for some. i don't regret having top surgery because i feel like it makes my (transex male) body represent me more, but it doesn't change that i wish i wasn't born to develop breasts.

i got top surgery almost 3 years ago, the scars are perfect. i am blessed. but i don't want to look at them anymore and i feel like a monster. i'm sick of the painful zapping sensation when it rains that make me feel like i'm an amputee.

when i got my surgery i chose against scar care since i wanted them to be dark and visible for a long time. i was looking forward to swimming for the first time in ten years after i got surgery. fast-foward three years and i can't muster the courage to subject the public to my chest. i don't get how people do it.

i just see this surgery being over sensationalized everywhere and felt that i needed to share my feelings. hopefully this helps someone make the best long-term and informed decision possible.

EDIT: Post has been up for half an hour and we're at a 50% downvote rate. Pretty obvious to me ya'll don't care about making this a space for open discussion about top surgery and its long-term effects and struggles for those who were operated on, and that you'd all much rather if this was an echo chamber.