Okay so I’m gonna try to explain my back story as quick as possible. I have been insecure since I was a very young child , even before I started looking in mirrors I was already telling myself I was ugly. I was shy in school because I never felt like I was good enough and have always felt like EVERYONE has a negative opinion of me. At age 15 , the start of my final yeah of high school, my anxiety got too bad and I stopped going to school and I haven’t really left the house in almost three years now. About six months ago I got diagnosed with autism which definitely made some things make sense and I also found out I have aphantasia which I guess could be why I was so insecure from a young age as I can not picture what I look like in my mind. I have always felt like I am alone in this world, I have felt insecure for as long as I can remember and I have zero confidence in anything I do or want to do. I’m bored of where I currently am in my life and I desperately want to get better. I understand that in its most simplest form I need to change my mindset and everything will start to fall into place. However, because I have clearly been mentally I’ll for so long every time I try to figure myself out all I have in my mind is complete distorted confusion that no matter how hard I think or how many videos I watch I can just not figure myself out. Can anyone make any sense of how I feel and explain it to me? And does anyone have any advice for how I can move forward with my life?

(Sorry if this doesn’t make sense like I said I’m autistic lol)