Trigger warning: possible rape, sexual assault and STD scare

First of all, I had the last of my tests after taking a preventive Aids treatment and everything is alright.

I had a one night stand with a guy I found cute, which is not something I usually do. I knew him from college and he seemed rather wild-mannered, so what followed was very unexpected.

I don't like anything rough, especially with someone I barely know, but right off the bat he was a bit too physical: pushing me against the wall with too much force, grabbing me until it was painful... Every time I told him he would calm down but the more he grew excited the more he seemed to lose control and be annoyed. I started feeling a bit unsafe but kept going nonetheless.

He tried to bullshit me a bit about not liking latex. Too bad, he should have brought his own. This convo irked me a bit as well; I told him I was terrified by Aids and STDs. He ended up obliging.

Then we had sex. I was passive and I need quite a bit of foreplay to feel ready. It was a bit short to my taste so it was more painful and unpleasant than I'm used to, and I had very different experiences with men larger than him.

Then again, I told him to slow down and be more gentle, which he would do for a while before going rougher again.

At some point I was hurting too much, something wasn't right. I didn't feel safe enough and it showed with how my body responded, so I told him we had to stop.

He seemed extremely annoyed and borderline angry, and asked if I wanted to finish. At this point I wasn't even erect or excited and wanted him gone asap, so I said no.

He said he wanted to cum on my back, and I agree so he could leave me alone. I was still very sore, and it made me uncomfortable to see he was still eager to continue though I was clearly finding the situation unpleasant.

At some point I felt... something? He swears it was fingers and not his tip, it hurt like hell nonetheless and I'm pretty sure I was bleeding a bit. I told him to stop doing that, and he did, but it happened again. I started to freak out and he told me to calm down. He was pinning me down on the bed with one hand and all of his weight. I could feel he was close so I waited.

Sorry to be a bit graphic, there is no elegant ways to put it, but he came right on my anus, pressing the tip a bit. I completely froze, hoping I was very wrong with what I felt. While he was in the shower I used a tissue down there and indeed there was a mix of blood and sperm.

I didn't know what to say when he came out of the bathroom, so I said nothing. After a sleepless night, I rushed to the nearest family planning centre (in my country they also handle those kinds of situations) to ask what I was supposed to do. They examined me and confirmed I had a tear, which showed I wasn't exaggerating how painful it had been, and they said the contact between sperm and a wound is one of the highest risks.

After a day or two on the preventive drug, which was horrible in terms of side effects (though it could have been psychosomatic), I wrote to him to ask for a recent STD test and tell him what had happened. He didn't have any but apologised for hurting me.

I feel like all this amounts to a rape, I adamantly said no to contact without a condom and he did it anyway, I told me I was terrified of this situation exactly and he disregarded it entirely. Our common friends are very uncomfortable with this situation and tell me this is not what rape is, so I'm a bit lost. I don't intend to press charges anyway but I feel like my experience is overlooked and his "trauma" about getting accused of such a thing is at the centre of it all.

Am I overreacting, as the tests are all negative? Is there a point where I could have misinterpreted what happened?

EDIT: I should add I have bipolar disorder (2) so this kind of events trigger tremendous reactions at time, this is why this post focuses on the few facts I am certain of, as if it were a police report. Otherwise it would be a 100 times as long and probably hard to follow. I haven't left my flat for days and I have been having panic attacks since then, so that's part of the reason why my friends think I am making too much of it. Laying out the facts as they are is therapeutic for me.