My (41m) wife (40f) had an amazing breakthrough very recently, mentally escaping a lot of her past conditioning, such as religious guilt, shaming, and the judgmental karenesq type family dynamics. She opened up to me about past secrets, an affair, and other odds and ends that she had never been able to face before. It was incredible to see her finally feel free, and it was worth the wait.

Her first FMF was amazing for her, and the first two MFM experiences were again pure pleasure for her. That said, they went sideways, each for unique and unfortunate reasons. However, each time, I made sure to go the extra mile to ensure she still got to experience the thrill and excitement of those encounters. We always communicated and originally agreed that our primary goal was to fully experience both dynamics together, with our intimate bond getting all the energy and excitement of the afterglow to enhance our connection.

At home, we’ve faced the usual obstacles with availability and energy for intimate time due to responsibilities like kids in school, sports, and work schedules. Still, we made time among these responsibilities.

With the 3rd experiences, planning and preparing for those experiences gave us so much positive energy. Seeing her excitement and outfit changes and all that first date night type energy was perfect.

Even with the hurdles that could have canceled any playing for her happening at all, I succeeded in adjusting to ensure she had the most mind-blowing experience possible. This was a top priority, especially since she was completely new to experiencing this pleasure with the freedom from guilt.

Since the last MFM, however, the usual obstacles have somehow prevented us from putting effort and energy into our time together. It’s been disappointing because the reality is that it should be an easy fix. Yet, despite our intentions, it just hasn’t happened. Plans keep falling through.

Now significant to say as well that also after this last encounter, both of her two male 3rds have stopped communicating with her—something we both expected as they are young military guys, making it ideal for avoiding unnecessary attachments— It's disheartening that they did this, and I can see how it’s affected her. Her flame for those experiences has diminished due to the abrupt end in communication. I encouraged her to put some minimal energy into seeking out backups so that she wouldn’t be left at square one when they inevitably parted ways. Unfortunately, there were no backups, and due to feeling down about the sudden silence, she has no motivation to pursue other connections until this cloud passes.

So, I'm really not sure how to feel comfortable with her telling me she doesn't think she will find a way to be ok with me having my experience with a female that I have gladly been patiently holding back from. I felt it was my duty to focus my energy on her pleasure and kept waiting on her actions following through with efforts on us. Somehow, the energy was never focused properly on us no matter how many times it was planned and promised to me.

I really don't want to feel like a bad guy for doing something I was told was important to both of us. She got my above and beyond support with allowing her to have the most exciting experiences she's ever had. I just can't pretend I can be ok doing without her support the way she was given mine. She says she wants it all to stop without me getting any experiences with her and I experiencing them together as intended.

I feel taken for granted and underappreciated and have no idea what to sacrifice. My fair, amazing experiences like she had and being made feel like a bad guy for it or letting her see me settle for less than I deserve for her comfort.