I've (M30) been married to my wife(F27) 2 years together for 6, and now I think it's the start of the end.

We've always been open and honest with our sexual desires and we've been quite open to trying things.

Early on we'd talked about threesomes, but it wasn't something either of us were pushing for, but I suppose we'd left it as a never say never.

Anyway obviously things have happened and although I'm almost fine with seeing her with another man, there's something I can't get over. Let me explain.

She and I had been invited to our mutual friends wedding at a fancy country house, great occasion but long story short we'd struck up a freeindship with another guest who had recently got divorced and was at the wedding solo.

We'd drunk and laughed and had a great time. I'd noticed the way he was staring at my wife, glued to her cleevage, watching her walk away every time and so on. Well my wife had noticed too, and there was something in the air, it almost seemed inevitable.

She'd come back from the bar while he had also gone from the table and I'd asked her if she fancied him, she said she did, and without even saying anything we'd known what was happening.

I think it was me that invited him back to our room in the end, we were quite drunk, but it had been electric, exciting and thrilling as we'd made our way up. Hands were wandering then she kissed him as I was opening the door and we crashed in and got straight into it.

It was honestly the most turned on I have ever been and not for 1 second had I felt any hint of jealousy, watching her giving us oral, watching him have sex with her, enjoying it all, cumming from him, t was all just erotic and exciting.

The thing that has ruined it tho, in my eyes at least, was when she was riding me on the bed, he had left for the bathroom, and when he comes back behind my wife, I had felt something cold and I realised he had brought back some of my wife's hand creme and was lubing her ass up.

Now I fully expected her to stop him, anal was something I'd asked for, but she had said she didn't fancy the idea and I had respected that and not asked again.

But I looked at her and she just had her eyes closed and biting her bottom lip. I felt her breathing quicken and her face scrunch up as I felt the pressure of him entering her. In the moment I didn't really have time to collect my thoughts but I knew then in the back of my mind that this was going to cause a lot of conflicting emotions.

I didn't dislike the feeling and she seemed into it so we carried on, he eventually finished inside her, but I couldn't get there and in the end it kind of fizzled out.

He had left almost right away and we had gone to bed without really talking about it, but I felt horrible.

I felt betrayed almost, she had given him something that we'd never get back, her first time, and I just felt empty.

When we did talk about it she had said it was something she had been expecting having seen it in porn, and thought I would have too. She had been so swept up in it all she hadn't considered it would upset me. I told her It's not the act I have a problem and if she'd said she was willing to try it and the roles were reversed and it had been me to be her first, I'd have been ok I think.

She said it didn't do much for her, it was uncomfortable and a bit painful (even tho from the noises she had made she seemed to have enjoyed it) but that she'll let me try it if I really want to. But I really don't want to now, I can't even finish with her most of the time when we've having sex since, even tho I have thought about that night on my own.

In my rational mind I can see it shouldn't be a problem, I still don't feel jealous as such about her being with someone else, (although it's not something I'd want to do again)but I can't get this feeling out of the pit of my stomach, and I dont feel like I see her as I once did.

Like it's not a particularly classic romantic event her first anal, but I feel like it's something taken away from us that could have been special.

Anyway she thinks this is a good bookend for our crazy youth and wants to start thinking of a family and move into the next part of our life, but I don't think I'll ever be able let this go, I know the advice will be therapy or divorce and I really don't want either, but I'm hoping just sharing this will help, if anyone has got over similar (I suppose insecurities? Jelousies?).