First, some background. Myself 33M, has been with my wife 34F, for almost 17 years now. She and I started seeing each other when I was 17. She is my first and only sexual partner but she has had prior partners before we started seeing each other.

We've brought up the idea of having MFM and FMF threesomes, as it's a fantasy we both share. This has been a long running conversation spanning years with a couple of close encounters but ultimately, it led to nothing.

Well, the conversation has started again and she's seemingly excited about the possibility of this happening, as am I, but I'm anxious as all hell. She's indicated to me that she's more excited about us bringing in a second woman and seems to have a bit of a cuck queen fantasy.

As I try to understand where my anxieties stem from, I've noticed that certain things give me more pause than others. The idea of sharing my wife with another man, not so much, the sight of my wife kissing another man, infuriates me. The idea of a threesome with another woman, It excites me, the idea of being with another woman in a solo encounter, makes me feel like I've cheated or done something that feels wrong by my own standards.

I guess what I'm asking is, are my anxieties normal? Why do certain things, seemingly more sexual, make me feel less anxious than things like kissing or cuddling afterwards?

Thanks in advance.