Its been a total of 5 times hooking up.

I really wasnt trying to insinuate he wasn't communicating enough, my goal was to let him know if he wanted to talk or hang out more we were totally open for that, but he obviously took it as a dig or a demand. I would have never done that again but then my hubby, with good natured intentions, was trying to let him know we would be open to hearing from him more, but it set off that triggered response.

My hubby thinks sex with me is the very best thing in the world, so I think he went into this with the unrealistic feeling like he was offering something any man would be happy to do anything for, and wasn't really thinking about the other guys needs/wants. I tried to redirect him to think about what the other guy wanted a couple of times, but his stance was more along the lines that any man would be happy to fuck me however he got it, so he couldn't really comprehend the other guy being dissatisfied. I know this was silly for him to think, but we are learning also, and the other guy wasn't communicating his dissatisfaction, so I was just guessing on my end.

We did ask what the other guy wanted several times this last time we were together, and I think it was totally disregarded, I tried to do what he was asking, but things kinda got carried away. Maybe that is why this whole situation is where it's at.

Your recommendation about only talking the week before is probably a solid recommendation, for both my hubby and the other guy, but by the time that week rolled around I doubt I would still be interested. I do require a bit of maintenance, and I'm not interested in screwing some guy I talk to once a month. Hell I would just do meetups and see what was new every month if that is what I wanted.

It's so hard to figure ohu how to make this work for everyone involved.

The last paragraph is good feedback, but ugh, I don't know how to incorporate that into my life. Simply sex with no friendship has 0 appeal for me, but I don't think we really have room for an actual poly relationship. I thought the FWB type scenario indicated hanging out some on the side as well, but without any commitment or exclusivity attached.

The conversation tone was just bad from the get go yesterday. He went into talking about another kinda relationship he is in, and how it was too time consuming and preventing him from starting a real relationship because it was taking too much of his energy. I assumed that this was his way of letting us know it wasnt really working with us either. I mentioned if there was a problem with us taking too much of his time, not to worry about us we could totally cut back, and he was silent in response, which is about the same as agreement.

Good advice, thank you!

My hubby isn't jealous anymore, he is actually 100% into the threesome thing at this point. It is the guy we were hooking up with that got all bitter and angry unexpectedly.

We don't really have one. The phone call that went badly was supposed to be a kinda debriefing type thing, which I hear is a good idea to do, but we haven't really done any aftercare with the guy. Is this something the couple is supposed to do with the other person? I am still fresh at all of this

He isn't very communicative. I was expecting a fun and flirty conversation, and he was just kinda being a bitter jerk when he got on the phone.

There are all sorts of things that I can see as possibilities for him to have been annoyed with, but I kinda think they were minorish issues, and nothing is ever entirely perfect, so I wasn't overly worried about them.

For instance, I jokingly mentioned it would have been nice to have talked to him on a previous week, and he had a strong triggered response, which was the first time I had seen that side of him, so when we got off the phone that night, I mentioned to my hubby that we shouldn't joke about wanting to spend more time with him. Honestly I was just trying to let the guy know I liked talking to him, I wasn't trying to pressure him at all. It was a weird event. When we talked to him briefly on Friday to reschedule the conversation to Sunday, my hubby also made a playful comment about him taking days to text back, he also was just trying to let the guy know we wouldn't mind hearing from him more, and the guy was obviously highly irritated about the comment.

I think the comments about him calling/texting us is what set him off, as his closing comments on the call I couldn't wait to get off of were along the lines of "my time is precious to me and I won't feel guilty about not spending it with someone, I would rather be alone"

But wait, there's more we did wrong

My husband doesn't exactly like marathons in bed, he is more of a sprinter. I have always liked this style of lovemaking, as I can put out more often with less pressure. The other guy is more of an ironman event type. When we hooked up the first time he went for about an hour before my husband came over and told him it was time to finish (I know kinda a dick thing to do, but he had never done anything like this and was feeling a bit traumatized by our first experience)

Every other time we have hooked up my husband has basically told the guy to finish at around 10 minutes into the actaul sex, because that's when he is about ready to go, and he doesn't want to cum first. Yeah, I know it's not super thoughtful of him, but he is still figuring this stuff out on his end too, and the guy didn't really complain, but I am sure it's not what he wanted.

I wish I could ask the guy how much that aspect of things played into it.