Hi! We are finally posting a follow-up to this post anticipating our first threesome! Life has been busy, a lot of stuff happened, and honestly, we needed time to process everything.

TLDR: Brazillians hurt, even expensive escorts can be flaky and steal deposits, threesomes are fun, turns out we might be r/Swingers

First, the Brazilians... holy shit, that hurt.

[HUSBAND] I had my appointment first, and felt the pain was possibly equivalent to childbirth

[WIFE] How would he even know??

[HUSBAND] Every single rip was excruciating. I broke out in a cold sweat. After the pubic bone area was done, the technician tried to convince me it was okay to stop. I laid there questioning all of my life decisions, but ultimately determined I wasn't going to be no punk. My wife had her appointment later that day, so I didn't want to tap out. She'd never let me live it down.

[WIFE] Most of it was ok...until they got to the inner labia. It felt like they ripped my pussy OFF. I was bleeding, and the wax even got a tiny piece of my labia skin. I felt bruised for 24 hours. The results were just ok. It was definitely smooth, but there was a decent amount of hair left which I then had to pluck out individually. It took me almost an hour to clean it all up, and THEN I felt evenly smooth and sexy. I did not have much trouble with ingrowns afterward, but my husband (2.5 months later) is STILL dealing with the horrendous aftermath of ingrown hairs he has on his pubic bone area. I understand it probably gets better the more you do it, but both of us decided shaving wasn't so bad after all. Will probably NOT do that again.

Now, to the (mostly) good stuff.

ESCORT #1

We paid our deposit ($340), confirmed the hotel, had everything set up, and exchanged a few really nice messages with her (she was very encouraging about it being our first time). A few days before we were scheduled to meet, we reached out to check in but didn't hear anything. We didn't want to seem too pushy or thirsty, so we let a few days go by. On the day before our appointment, we still hadn't heard back. We grew concerned and pinged her AGAIN, but nothing. She had good reviews and seemed legit, so we decided to go to the hotel, as planned, and see if she showed up. At this point we knew we had probably been scammed and felt like dumbasses, but didn't know what else to do but sit there in the hotel room and watch the clock tick down until the appointment time.

BIG SHOCK - she did not show. Disappointed and frustrated, we went out to a nice dinner to discuss our next move. We decided to make the best of the night and went to a local sex club. During our threesome research, we'd read about the club scene and thought it would be fun to check it out with no expectation to play with anyone. We went pretty early - like right when they opened at 9pm. It was in a very sketchy area, so we sat in the car for a long time watching people going in and trying to decide if this was for us. Eventually, we decided to proceed. We went in and paid for a one-day membership and the club's fee. It was very loud and bumpin', but there was hardly anybody there. We had a very nice employee give us a tour, and we thought the whole place seemed fun and interesting, but we were feeling awkward AF. We had a few drinks, then wandered into one of the private rooms and had sex for a bit. People started trickling in, but there still wasn't any public sex going on. After wandering around a bit more, we decided to try one of the "semi-private" rooms (basically a bed with a curtain you could draw as much or as little as you wanted).

[WIFE] We decided to leave the curtain open a bit - maybe 6 inches. Husband stayed fully dressed, but I stripped down to my bodysuit, unsnapped it, and he started going down on me. I looked up at one point, and there was this dude standing there watching us. I was worried Husband didn't know he was there, so I mouthed "someone is watching" and Husband nodded and seemed ok, so I laid back and relaxed into the magic he was doing with his tongue. Every now and then I would look up and see the guy staring at us. I found it a little erotic, but it was a little distracting too. Husband made me cum hard, and I felt very aware there were eyes on us - I thought it was hot to be watched, but the guy watching us was a little creepy and had crept into the room with us. It was a surreal experience.

[HUSBAND] The guy had fully stepped into the room at some point, and while Wife was getting dressed, the guy came close to me and said "man you're really good at that!" All I could say was "...thanks." He said "you should do it again!" At this point I was feeling very awkward and just said, "haha, maybe later." That's when I noticed he was trying to look around me to watch Wife get dressed. He had gotten uncomfortably close and I felt like I needed to keep my body positioned between him and Wife so she would feel comfortable while getting dressed.

[WIFE] All in all, it was a fun experience, but we left shortly after because the guy kept following us around the club. We would go to a different area, and he would magically appear seconds later. After a few times, we decided to split and unpack the evening back at the expensive-ass hotel we had booked for our no-show escort. We had some great sex back at the hotel and eventually messaged the escort to ask for our deposit back (HA, but we had to try!)

The escort messaged us the next day, saying that all of a sudden our messages came through, and she had been wondering why we had fallen off the map. She swore up and down that she just got all our messages in one big rush the next day. We *wanted* to believe her, but there's no fucking way. We definitely got played. When we asked for the money back, she said she'd just paid bills and needed another week. I mean, we knew we'd been scammed, but we did ask one more time. We tried to leave a negative review on one of the escort review sites, and it was denied because they wanted some kind of proof the events had happened. We were so over it at that point that we didn't bother pursuing it further.

ESCORT #2

Well, with that experience under our belts, we reached out to confirm our appointment the next week with the second escort, and she was incredibly responsive. She communicated quickly every time we had questions. We felt cautiously optimistic we were FINALLY about to have our threesome. The day arrived and...so did Wife's period. WHAT THE FUCK. It was so shitty. We'd been looking forward to this for a long time. Then we had the whole despositscam happen. To have this happen LITERALLY ON THE DAY of our appointment was really difficult and disappointing. We messaged her immediately, and she was like "oh, shit, I am literally on a plane right now, I flew home just for this!" We felt crappy about all of it. We talked about maybe going through with it, and Wife could just put a tampon in and grab some titties and make out with her, or whatever... just make the best of it. We floated this to the escort, but she was hesitant because she didn't want there to be an imbalance between us for our first time - I think she was concerned that if Wife could not fully participate, it would create negative feelings. We discussed options, and even decided to put a second deposit down on another date a few weeks out as a gesture of good faith, because we realized it was shitty to cancel on her the day of.

At some point, she asked if Wife had ever used a menstrual disc, said they were great, and you could even have sex with one. Wife had not tried such a contraption, but said she'd check it out. After working out the details with us, the escort was still up for meeting, so we decided to go through with our appointment. We got a box of menstrual discs, headed to the hotel, and were feeling giddy/nervous in anticipation.

[WIFE] The menstrual discs were interesting. They definitely work! We got to the hotel and I tried one out, and we even had sex to see how that felt - no blood! It was crazy. I put a fresh one in, showered twice, and we waited for her to (hopefully) show up.

The escort continued to communicate with us, letting us know when her Uber picked her up, giving an ETA, and like magic, she was knocking on our door! She looked a few years older than her pictures, but overall looked pretty much as advertised - small, petite, long dark hair, and wearing a bodycon dress and tall heels. She was bubbly and talkative. We shared a glass of champagne as she asked us a few questions. We made small talk for about 20 minutes. Eventually she put down her glass and was like, "Ok, let's start."

She took off her dress and was wearing cute lingerie. We both started undressing too, and she suggested we begin as a couple. We went to the bed and began kissing and rubbing each other while kneeling on the bed. The escort came behind Wife and put her hands around her and started kissing Wife's shoulder and neck. Wife looked over and started kissing her and letting her hands tentatively start touching the escort's body.

[WIFE] Touching her for the first time was surreal. She was soft and small, and smooth. The sensation was so different than touching a man. It was sexy and felt comfortable. Her lips were soft and she had a light taste (Husband later explained that was menthol cigarettes, but I had no idea lol). She was touching my body confidently. Husband was still kissing me too, and at one point she started rubbing my clit. I looked up at Husband and said "the most amazing thing is, I can't even tell who is touching me right now." It really was a strange but erotic feeling having three bodies pressed together.

[HUSBAND] It was incredible seeing all these firsts for my wife, and I remember staring at the two of them kissing thinking "this is so hot."

Next, she went down on Wife for a bit, which was fine, but not mind-blowing. She had several toys she had thoughtfully cleaned in front of us when she arrived, and she was quick to pull one out, which wasn't really what we were looking for. We rolled with it though. She was very chatty, not in a sexual way, and kept telling us how amazing and life-changing this g-spot stimulator was. It totally changed the dynamic. She started using it on Wife in ways we both knew weren't how Wife really enjoys being played with. The escort lectured Husband on ways he needed to massage Wife's g-spot. We were rolling our eyes at this. We know each other's bodies so well, but thanks for the hot tip.

[WIFE] She seemed unaware and it was a little weird - she was talking a lot about how amazing her toys were, and it kind of killed the intimacy of the moment. She started using this thing on me. It felt fine but wasn't really doing much, so I asked for Husband to fuck me. She kissed me and rubbed on my tits while he did, which was really nice. Feeling him inside me and looking up at him while she rubbed her hands on me and tasted my lips was nice. I was enjoying the fact that we were doing any of this, and it definitely felt good. The escort started using the vibrator on my clit while Husband was inside me. That felt great! I love cumming while he's inside me and it was extra erotic with a third person there. She was sort of cheering me on and kissing my neck. I came hard while feeling very connected to Husband.

[HUSBAND] After my wife came, she asked if the two of them could go down on me. YES. The moment I've been waiting for!!!! This was my favorite part of the threesome as far as actual stimulation goes. To start, Wife put me in her mouth, and the escort started kissing me. That was good, but the mind-blowing part was definitely when she went down there and joined my wife in pleasuring me. The visual was sexy and the sensations were amazing — so much stimulation on so many parts. Wife eventually came up to kiss on me for a bit, and then they would switch. In both cases, I could feel myself getting close, but I wasn't ready to cum yet, so I just enjoyed the experience. Next, my wife asked if the escort could sit on my face while Wife fucked me cowgirl. The escort got a little weird and said she liked to save oral on her for her actual partner. We immediately backed off and assured her that was fine. She said it would be ok if Wife went down on her, so we said that would be great and went there next.

[WIFE] I finally tasted a pussy!! Whee!!!! I've fantasized about this so many times. I'd imagined what it might be like and here I was trying my hardest to figure out what this mystical thing was all about. It was fun to lick across her lips and clit, and imagine all the times Husband has done this for me. I hoped she felt all those same amazing sensations. Husband watched mostly, rubbing on her tits a little, but trying to give us space and enjoy the visual. The escort seemed to enjoy herself. She was very quick to adjust my head to the right spot. She quivered slightly and said that she came. Later on, Husband said it could be that she came, but I realized at this moment why guys are paranoid about women faking orgasms. I had NO FUCKING IDEA if she actually came. It was a strange thing to understand from the other side. Personally, I've never faked an orgasm. I always dismissed men's seemingly irrational fear that an orgasm could be fake (Why would I do such a thing?? I want to cum!) But NOW I understand. I never realized how much I truly appreciate a big delicious cream pie to confirm I did a good job.

At some point, Wife decided to take a shower, because there was some blood leaking around the menstrual cup. She put a new one in and cleaned up. There was some chit-chat with Husband in the meantime, but the action paused. After Wife returned there was some discussion about what to do next and how Husband might want to cum. In the weeks leading up to this we'd talked about how we felt about penetration and decided we were ok with it - with condom, of course. We asked if she would ride Husband. She seemed reticent, seeming unsure that Wife was actually ok with it. We assured her we wanted to do this, so she got a condom and put it on him. She rode him for all of 15 seconds.

[HUSBAND] Things were feeling really awkward at this point. She acted so weird about the idea of her and I having sex, like she didn't believe or trust that Wife and I were consentingly making this decision. This was our fantasy and we were telling her we were ok with this. Several times throughout the night, she would say things to question us, and even advise against certain things, (specifically penetration) since it was our first time. But Wife was feeling sexy and good, and told me she wanted us to do it, so for the escort to question it made me feel very unsexy and guilty that we should want to engage in this part of our experience. When the escort climbed on top and tried to put me in I wasn't completely hard and she made the comment, "I don't know if this is going to work." Strangely, that did not make me more hard. Now I was in my head wondering if she was even consenting to this. Ultimately she got it in, and she rode me for a few seconds. It was really terrible. Terrible rhythm. Terrible angle. She quickly climbed off and made some other comment I felt was borderline rude. I took off the condom and Wife started to suck me. Later Wife told me there was a very interesting, unpleasant smell/flavor to my skin where the escort had been on me, so she didn't linger long and asked for me to fuck her again.

[WIFE] I was feeling the need to connect with Husband. We'd stayed very couple-centric the whole time, and at this point, I think we were both feeling annoyed enough by little things the escort had said, that we were like, I kind of miss our good sex. I laid on my side while Husband entered me from behind. The escort got out one of her vibrators and used it on my clit. I came quickly and enjoyed feeling my husband's arms around me. Afterward, I went back down on Husband and sucked and licked him until he came. The escort sat behind me and played with me a bit while I was down on him, which was kind of distracting, but she didn't seem interested in playing as a group anymore. It was all a little strange.

[WIFE] When I tell you that the moment Husband came, she was up and out of there, I am not joking. She was polite, but she did not dilly-dally. She got her clothes on, thanked us, and left 15 minutes before our time was up. I feel the need to say at this point that we are super nice, respectful people who are attractive, HWP, and not gross. I give her lots of credit for being willing to see us while I was on my period. I stayed super clean, showered 3 times, and did not expect or ask her to do anything near my vagina, which was well plugged up. She didn't seem like she had anything against us, but she did not seem all that interested in playing with my husband, even though we told her many times we wanted it to be a mutual experience and that neither of us wanted to feel left out during this experience. So while I don't know where her head was at, my best assessment was that we were clearly awkward newbies, she was more comfortable focusing on the woman in a couple-scenario (which she actually verbalized in our messages and in person - "I like to focus on the woman so nobody gets jealous") and by the end of our 2 hours, she was just ready to bounce. Maybe we're just lame. Overall, we paid a lot of money for an enjoyable fantasy experience, but very mediocre sex.

And maybe that's just how it goes? We won't know until we try again. But damn, the cost of entry into this experience was high.

The positives were that we had an amazing time exploring this whole other side to our sex life - the lead-up was so fucking hot, and the threesome itself was fun and interesting. It opened up a lot of future possibilities for us to continue exploring sensations and fantasies. It gave us lots of hot dirty-talk fodder. Wife's favorite thing about the experience was feeling the soft body of a woman at the same time Husband fucked her hard and deep. Husband's favorite thing was the few minutes of feeling cock worshipped by two mouths at the same time - and not getting stood up a second time.

In the days following, we had lots of things to unpack, but overall, we did not hate it. We had enough fun at the sex club that we decided to try a different one in the area, which ended up having a better vibe for us. We've been twice now, and the second time we did some parallel and soft play with another couple (which was ten times hotter than the escort threesome). We have started exploring the Lifestyle to see if it's a good fit for us. We are still dabbling, but excited.