Well the day is almost here, less than [counts of fingers] about 10 days away from Halloween but before then we await the arrival of the Great Pumpkin. Also, fuck Lucy, she was a punk ass to Charlie Brown, but in this case, Lucy gets what’s coming to her, and that’s a giant thick rock in her candy bag. The End

Alright alright, you fucken little pervs want a real ad [sigh] ok I’ll give you a real ad then. Gather round and try not to keep your hands to yourself. And let me tell you about these pair of freaks that like to sneak into women’s underpants.

Our stars are a pair of the chip of the old block in the perv world, they like to get sucked, fist, slap, dirty talk and from time to time share the same location at once but like a sour patch kids, they are too sweet to be sour. They are in their dreaded 30s [DUN DUN] buy they have experience, about 10 years worth of it in the MFM world. They are drug free and disease free. If you expecting monster sclongs and six packs then you’ll be sadly disappointed, cause the only pack you’ll be getting is a pack of cupcakes and beer and those mini cocktail weenies. Body is mostly dad bod and one is tall and one is short, [wow what a pair of freaks] I’ll stop reading if I were you.

What the hell? You still reading, alright lady, your disappointment. look, if you don’t look like a model or a retired model, your chances are slim to none to score with these bad boys but I guess you can try. Ages 18 and above only, and they check I.Ds too so no funny business, and just because your over 50, don’t be shy, they put grandmas in retirement homes (from what I heard). Got a costume? Fuck yeah!!! You a shoe in at this point. Please be drug and disease, but if you like to smoke the devils lettuce, that’s cool. Oh you being a baddie and doing this on the side? Secrets can be kept but that’ll be extra, ok ok secrets will be kept if you take it in the back.

This isn’t TMZ or whatever Godless media company likes to take pictures of people while they eat or jerk off, like who does that? Hey at least let someone clean their mess before you take the pic, show some respect. Oh right, but back to pictures. Voice verify first then pics are traded, none until then and that goes both ways. You like crack pot hotels? Neither do we, but hotels are fun to host in and help create a good neutral location. Wanna see the freaks before the show? Well you in luck, pick the spot and time and drinks can be arranged or maybe snacks and goodies.

Well that’s all folks for our story for tonight. Anyways, keep those eyes peeled for the Great Pumpkin, I heard this year, free pumpkin spice lattes will be sprayed upon us, as the pumpkin flies above us. Remember to wear those scary masks and those ones too, be good to yourself and to your fellow ghouls and Ghoulettes. Happy Halloween season, blockheads.