Foreword - ok so this is very long. We are sharing our story because we went from not wanting one at all to going all the way. We experienced a lot and learnt a lot which hopefully some of you may find useful. This story doesn't include the actual threesome we ended up having. That's another long story for next time ;)

Our threesome was 4 years in the making so this story covers a time span of 4 years. 4 years ago I told my then girlfriend (now fiance) that I was somewhere on the bisexual spectrum. We were walking near the house I grew up and I began to feel a welling up of - I have to get this off my chest and whatever happens, whatever she says will be for the best. Thankfully she received it well, had quite a few questions. It took time to settle but really nothing had changed with knowing what she knew so everything was fine and great.

A few months later I threw out the idea of a threesome with the response “absolutely not”. We spoke about it and it became clear that there may be expectations which aren’t aligned with my own in what our threesome would be. It became clear she assumed it would be 2 guys using her, almost raping her. Or maybe it would be another girl and what if I preferred her? So I started being a bit more specific -

“What if it’s just a MMF threesome?” “What about if the guy is totally submissive to us and we tell him what to do?”

We started getting more comfortable in our relationship, moved in with each other and bought some toys to play with. I brought the topic up again…

“What about if the guy is just a toy?” “Imagine a hot guy who we both chose only joins us to make you feel good”

A little while later she woke me up to morning sex, confessing she’d had a dream about having a threesome. We began having sex and I’d talk dirty to her - “Imagine if there was a guy here doing X to you”. She loved it but soon after she came the interest faded again and was replaced by nervousness and “what if” scenarios.

“What if I don’t like it?” “What if I get jealous?” “What if the guy is crazy?”

We went through the “what if” scenarios one by one and as our trust and love for each other grew, our understanding of how we’d make it work for each other grew. Our interest in a threesome moved away from our own selfish desires for self gratification and became about the both of us as a couple enjoying it together - just like any other couple activity. She respected that I hadn’t had a cock in however long and that this was an opportunity for me to explore that again. I respected that she had particular things she wanted to experience with two guys worshipping her and we began to piece together how the eventual day might happen.

We started wondering how we might investigate a threesome, which is when I found this and other threads on Reddit. Initially, we were dubious - her more so. Having only very few sexual partners before, meeting through very conventional means, she was particularly nervous. I had been a proper whore since I was 13 (went to a boys school, promiscuous in a mixed 6th form - 16-18 years old - and uni), which she knows which also added more complexity to the emotions, expectations and confidence of us.

I proposed the idea of posting an ad online with some sexy photos of her, just to see what happens… the idea of other guys looking at her really turned her on so she agreed. We had a talk about who our ideal person would be. I wanted someone younger, 18 - 23 would be fine, toned with a large dick and hairless. She wanted someone who was her age or older, a bit of meat on their bones and hairy. We then learnt that our fantasies had been different and needed to find some sort of compromise… But rather than waste time agreeing who the person should be, we left it to fate and eventually put it out there - agreeing that neither one of us would push any one person.

I wrote our post and put it out there…

Our inbox was FLOODED. I mean, destroyed. There were pretty clear instructions which maybe 80% of people didn’t follow. I think a lot of people don’t think it’s worth investing the time in engaging with the post and the posters requests for information - which is a big mistake. Probably most people see the post, write something and wank imagining what might happen. Whatever, it’s the internet. What people forget is that this is us inviting a perfect stranger into the most intimate act in our loving relationship - we want to see some thought and respect! It’s a big moment for us, so respect that it is a big moment and write accordingly.

Of the 20% who replied within our requests we chatted to a few and arrived on 3 guys who were interesting. We are both incredibly busy people and between our advert going live and settling on some guys we wanted to meet I had picked up a new job which involved a lot of travel so we waiting a while before our schedules could align. We set up a system where I would vet the guys and pass them to her if I thought there was potential, a system which really worked. We arranged a date with the first guy and met…

The first guy

We agreed to meet him in a pub near our apartment. We had it in our heads already we’d invite him back and see how things go after some drinks. First mistake. He turned up in sports gear confessing to having already drunk 3 pints of beer in between his stories about himself and then proceeded to drink another 2 pints throughout the night. I thought he was quite cute, aside from the personality and amount he’d drunk before, but she didn’t think the same. He went to the loo and we had a little chat - should we or shouldn’t we? “I’m not sure, I really don’t know” she said, to which I replied “Well if you’re not sure shall we just bring him back and see if anything happens?” to which she agreed. An hour past without him asking one question about us… There were just so many signs now in retrospect that we should have cut it off but we went ahead anyway and invited him back.

A short walk later we arrive at ours, he nips off the to bathroom to “freshen up”, asks for a towel and we leave him to it. By this point we’re both certain this is not going to happen. The guy walks out of the bathroom naked with the towel around his waist. This is now the most awkward moment of our couple-dom. We have a guy who’s incapable of reading the situation and we’ve mistakenly set his expectations that something might happen, somehow, even though we were pretty clear - “this might not happen”... Our second mistake.

Our third mistake happened when she said again “I’m not sure” but we agreed to see how it goes and invited him in to massage her with me. Neither of us were sure at the time whether our negative feelings towards the experience were because of our nerves (which were through the roof) or because we just genuinely didn’t like anything about this guy. It became pretty clear a few minutes in that it wasn’t the nerves. I read her expressions during the massage and called it off - made up some excuse that I’m not into this. He stopped and looked thoroughly pissed off, got up and put his clothes on and just left the apartment. We got an angry text a little while later with him telling her “She needs to break up with me because I’ll never be satisfied with her.”

We talked about the experience a lot. What we liked and what we didn’t like. How we can avoid those things in future and how we can set ourselves up better to have a good time. Here were our thoughts:

1 - Meet somewhere first time where’s there’s no chance in hell they’re coming back to ours 2 - Have a code word where if it’s really “no” we can define it early and not waste time 3 - No amount of expectation setting will tell a guy who wants to fuck your other half that it might not happen. For some reason, every guy just knows it will, especially when you tell them it wont. 4 - Have clear bedroom boundaries for both people 5 - Have clear bedroom communication between your partner and you. Turns out she was uncomfortable for a while but didn’t want to make a fuss by the time I noticed.

The second guy

This guy was much more communicative and clearly into sexting. He had a big cock, was in my perferred age bracket, well educated - had it all! We were all so turned on we just agreed to meet at our place - Why did we do this?! Hadn’t we learnt anything?!?! It just goes to show how bad decisions come when you’re horny.

He flaked. Never showed. We got a message a little while after he was supposed to show. It sounded like he was having a nervous break down - so sorry for not coming and how his life was in shambles. We decided not to meet. A few weeks later we strike up conversation again. I decide to meet the guy on my own to reduce the anxiety. We met and had a nice conversation, occasionally slipping in that I’m looking forward to seeing his big cock. He liked it and clearly didn’t expect it.

We agreed then to meet for a little coffee, all three of us, on the South Bank. We did and had a nice conversation. We found out more about his life and he was asking a lot of questions about us. He wasn’t drunk. Wildly different to our first guy we met! We both agreed as we walked away, after an awkward non-hugging goodbye, that this guy was much better and maybe the guy we’d have our first threesome with.

We exchanged more racy messages, photos and videos and agreed to meet in a pub near our place. The same fateful pub as the first guy. Well, that place was full so we went to another. We sat down and quickly came to the realisation that it wasn’t going to happen. She used her code word we agreed prior if she didn’t want to, I respected it and we quickly wrapped up the night.

It became very clear to us that, even though this guy we’d eventually share wasn’t going to join our relationship, he had to be a person we’d love to have as a friend. Someone who we want to be around, not just fuck. We couldn’t do that. Not to each other, either. I wouldn’t want a guy to fuck her who I didn’t trust and vice versa.

We talked about it without any regret or repulsion of the event which was a welcome change. We were happy that we’d taken what we’d learnt the first time and made our second time a well controlled and enjoyable experience, even though it didn’t end how we wanted. We cordially said our goodbyes by text and wished him well in his life. Nice chap, he is.

The third guy

They say 3 times the charm, right? Well, right they are. I think this guy messaged us slightly late when we were planning to meet number 2. I spotted him and passed him to her. We weren’t 100% certain from the pictures but thought, hey - why not? He seemed like a great guy in his short but personalised and thoughtful message… we can’t do much worse than number 1 guy, right!?

He resent some pictures, including his cock and it all looked great so we arranged again to meet somewhere totally away from the apartment, in London. Clear to say it’s there and that’s it - no messing around, just a chat. We had a really great chat over some wine and cheese. Everyone clearly felt relaxed and was enjoying eachothers company. We spoke for a few hours and left with a hug and a peck on the cheek.

She asked me as we walked away “So what do you think?” I knew that she wouldn’t ask me first unless she was into him. I said “absolutely” and she echoed me. We kissed for a bit and walked arm in arm to the underground station to go home, knowing that this would be our first guy.

I'll write our first experience in the coming days - it was the hottest thing we've both experienced and we can't wait to share it with you all!