So I decided to share my own experience when my Mum passed away way back 2009 when I was only 15.

That time, I was in the city as I am a university student in my freshman year, and we are from a small town in a province about 2 to 3hrs. away from the city (depends on the traffic). I stay in the dormitory on weekdays and go home only on a weekend.

When it happened, I was in the city, it was a saturday morning and I woke up that day totally not feeling well, I couldn't even attend my 1 and only class on a saturday. Then before lunch time I still decided to go to school to meet up with some of my class/block mates. On my way there, I keep receiving text messages from my friends in the province, childhood and high school friends, asking me, "Are you okay?"; "Hey, have you heard the news?" and so on. I have no idea why they keep texting and asking me those questions but when I asked them "what is it?" "What happened?" Or just why they are asking me if I'm fine... I kind of feel a little worried and uneasiness.

After I came back to my dormitory, I finished packing a few stuff I need to bring home for the weekend and waited for our driver to pick me up. When they arrived, one of my grandma (my grandfather's sister) we call her mama, she went inside my room, maybe she's trying to figure out how to open the topic and then that's it. She told me about what happened to my Mum. I was so shocked I couldn't even say a thing, tears rolled down my face. On the way home I was so quiet, I am not talking to anyone, but just crying quietly with my hands on my face.

During those days, my Mum's wake, I will sleep alone in my parent's room hoping that she'd show up in my dreams but naaah. I got pictures, and talking to those pics at night before going to sleep and I will place it under my pillow, hoping that might help to see her in my dreams but naaah. I'm sooo envious of everyone who were talking about seeing her in their dreams and sharing their dream stories about her because I cannot understand why even tho I have strong feelings and been hoping to see her in my dreams, it still didn't happen to me.

After the funeral, there is this so called "40 days" one of those religious beliefs where it's said that the soul of the person who just passed away stays around the close families and loved ones. My Mum's family are very religious so they were all following those beliefs but I am not, I do go to church and pray but I don't believe in it, I'm strongly against it.

Days have passed, in a monday morning, I was still at home. I go back to city every monday early morning, so my grandma will wake me up around 4:30am. But that one monday morning, I was dreaming of my Mum, I can't remember about what happened in the dream anymore. I just knew that I finally see her in my dreams, and right before I wake up, I heard a voice, like someone whispered right in my ears saying "Goodbye", and after I heard it I woke up with tears, and I kept crying and crying.

After that experience, somehow, not that I already believe about the 40 days, but I at least respect the opinions of those who believe in it.

Sorry it turned out to be a long story. I feel like sharing it because it's one of my memorable experience that I would proudly share to everyone. I love my Mum so so much.