I went in for my first IV dose this morning, and it was way more intense than I was anticipating, full out of body, but also feeling close to what I’ve read as ego death etc. I somehow managed to find the call button and came down after they removed the IV.

As background, I do absolutely no substances, have a lot of trauma in my background. Little/no family support, but have great friends, and went through the worst breakup of my life a few months ago.

The doctor said I probably didn’t get enough of a dose to work on the nueroplasticity (got about 20mg of a 55 mg dose).

I am going to my therapist tomorrow and will be working through all my thoughts on it, but I definitely wasn’t expecting the disassociation to be so intense and overwhelming. One of the big reasons I’m going is because I need to let things go, but I’m also super disciplined and bordering on a control freak in my personal life. Being in a space where I had no control over what was happening was not quite what I was expecting but I also think that maybe I went in with the wrong attitude.

I’d appreciate any thoughts or feedback on other people’s first experience and if they had second thoughts about continuing, etc…