I signed up for mindbloom at the beginning of February, and scheduled the first available date with a clinician on Feb 18th, and the first available session for March 4th. The clinician was really great, very thorough, and prescribed a 400mg starting dose - I explained that, being a redhead, drugs don't really work on me that well - epidural failed, need 3x dose of novacaine, etc. But she said we could go up if we needed to without an issue, so I didn't worry.

I have drug resistant depression, and at this point, I have tried everything to get better. I'm 40, I run a business, I single parent my children and provide for them well. I'm educated, and have found ways to work around my death spirals. But I am tired, and I need something to help me.

The first session was great, I was so excited, I really was all in for my next session. At the medical check in, the clinician prescribed a 100mg increase in the dose, and put the order in for the next 5 sessions.

This is where the problems started. Like I said, I'm a single parent, and my children have visitation with their dad once a week, on Saturdays. So I planned out 6 weeks of Saturdays to do the treatment, without distractions or worries. But the medication didn't ship until the Saturday following my consultation - meaning I didn't receive it until 12 days out from the last session. But I tried to be patient, and made it work that I could do my session on the 14th day.

The next issue. Mindbloom tells you to keep the medicine in your mouth for 7 minutes, during which time there's a spoken word meditation. This one was awful. The guy went on about how we should be grateful just to be alive - which is such a dog whistle phrase that abusers use to guilt you into submission, my back went straight up, but then he continued to say that if you could 'walk to your fridge' your life was better than a lot of the population, which is so ableist - I have disabled loved ones who can't walk to a fridge - does that mean their lives have less value? So I was irritated, but the medicine was already in my mouth. And it didn't take. I felt upset, anxious, and it put me in a panic for 3 days after. I reached out to my guide and explained, and she offered me an extra integration session, which I took, and we decided I shouldn't listen to the voice, but try again with the same dose. Which I did, and it did absolutely nothing.

At this point I'm 4 weeks in with only one successful session, and they tell me the next time available to see the clinician is in April 5th. I explained that's that was way out from their recommended 5-7 days, and they found someone to see me on the 7th day (after a LOT of back and forth). So I took off work, and planned to see the PA, and then do my session.

An hour before, I get a text that my clinician is sick, so they'll reschedule it 'Please give us 48 hours to get back to you'. So I got on live chat, and explained again that I was already nearly out of the timeframe, so they said they'd try find someone sooner. I got 10 minutes notice to see someone else, but I was so rattled at that point, I decided ketamine wasn't a good idea that day.

She's now upped me to 750mg, but two days later, it still hasn't shipped. I'm going to wait until I know it's on the way, because that way at least I can do three sessions the way they're supposed to be done. I've asked them to make it right, but so far have had no response in two days.

I believe in this treatment - just don't go with Mindbloom for it. Especially if you have any anxiety disorder.