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I've written several disjointed paragraphs on this topic, but it is still a jumbled nonsensical mess...
So instead I'm going to put this out there in brief and see what others have to say on the topic.
Recently, D gave me a glimpse of what he really wanted to do. It was ... a lot ... almost too much ... It made it crystal clear how much self control he practices while we play. I give him what I can, and I deeply want him to take what he wants, but ... I can only handle what I can handle.
Those moments when I feel him letting go are amazing and I want more of them, but ... I can only handle what I can handle.
What's your experience? How hard is it to stop, to practice that deep self-control that you must practice in order to be safe and stay within the boundaries of consent?
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very much same. My limits are usually beyond my subs', but what I'll do is largely bounded by what they actively enjoy. I won't even push them into discomfort or limit-stretching activities unless requested or prenegotiated. As soon as it stops being pleasurable for her, my enjoyment ends as well.