so my first D/s dynamic ended...we are Just friends now (just Not on Fetlife 🤦‍♀️😂 ) ...He still wants to be my mentor....that part is still a bit confusing (sorry)...

Anyway...the dynamic of Dom/owned sub is over...

and Because it was my first i am spending time examining and reflecting on it (and probably mourning it so i can let it go)...my lovely kink-friendly therapist has been fabulous listening and offering her insight but she ain't kinky, bless her heart

But one of the most interesting things that came out of it as i learned about my desires and what i liked and what rang my bell was the Daddy kink...now i don't think of myself as a little, not an age player personally...no shade to those who are at ALL...it is just not my personal kink...

i might be a middle (not entirely sure what that is exactly...anyone who wants to enlighten me, please do) the point is, when it first came up i was hesitant...at first He was like, "you may address me as Mr. Sir or Daddy"...and Mr Sir was what felt comfortable to me for the first several months for sure...but slowly subtly He would refer to himself as Daddy and i tried it out myself, addressing Him that way...and eventually leaned in to it...and then Fully embraced and Really enjoyed it.

What is interesting to me when i reflect on this particular part of the dynamic...(and i have to say this was Not a romantic D/s dynamic in ANY way), is my actual father was inconsistent and emotionally aloof when i was growing up especially...(he has worked hard as he has gotten older to mend the relationship and do better for sure)

But my best friend of 30 years made a comment about it than really resonated...She said..."it Totally makes sense, you embracing the "Daddy" kink, its all the "Good girls" and praise and affection and attention and structure you wanted and needed and wasn't available to you...You still want to make your own father proud of you...so someone that would offer you the opportunity to do so...and verbally and sexually reward you...it totally makes sense" Yeah real 💡 moment for me!

probably also explains at least One of the reasons Why i felt so much insecurity...and needed to be reassured so much (which is why i think He let me go...just too much trouble in the end)

She also pointed out that it was probably why I took it so hard when it ended...it probably reminded me of being rejected or abandoned or ignored like i often was by my actual parents....also made sense..(everyone should have a friend that knows them this well)

i don't need any hugs or anything...i am going to be just fine...i'm just still processing a bit and i appreciate the patience with my rambling

So my question to all you kinky folks...subs, middles, littles...and even any Daddy Doms out here...does this sound familiar? what about this particular kink works for you?...and do you know Why you embrace or enjoy it?...Interested to hear perspective from either side of the slash...

Thanks y'all for humoring me...

you're all beautiful and smart and lovely deviants 🍒✨😈💚