I was introduced to kink by one of those “Old Guard” communities that insisted you had to learn to be a submissive before you could Dom. At the time, my marriage was monogamous, and there was sort of this begrudging “well, one of you can play a dominant role but you can’t be A Dominant until you’ve mastered submission.” So for… I’d say 3-6 months? We would switch off. I’d blindfold her and cuff her up and use her and we’d both love it, then she’d do the same to me the next time and it was like yeah, I guess that was okay? But it just felt like it was something we did because we were supposed to do it. It quickly became a thing we did as a perfunctory task, and then we started “forgetting” and then we found out that there are other people in the world who don’t think everyone has to be a sub first and we never looked back. I just am not a submissive. Since we left the monogamy thing behind I’ve played with submissives; switches; masochists and rope bunnies who didn’t do power exchange; and every once in a while a vanilla partner. But I have no interest whatsover in subbing and I don’t foresee that changing.