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I just want to feel beautiful for once in my life - help desperately needed
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Hi ladies,

This is incredibly hard for me to write/share, but I am at a breaking point and I desperately need help. I am 34 years old and an extremely ugly woman. My appearance has absolutely decimated my life. There are essentially no photographs of me since I was in elementary school because I am so terrified of the camera. I have been made fun of mercilessly throughout my childhood and my adulthood by friends and strangers. I have been told that I am so ugly I never have to worry about being r-worded, that no one would ever want me, that I'm ugly as shit. I have wanted my life to end because of the way I look, but I just get told I'm selfish when there are people suffering from physical illnesses and ailments.

I try my best to be a good, friendly person because I don't want others to feel the way that I do. I am very kind, patient, understanding, charitable, etc. - I genuinely believe I am a good person, but none of that matters because of the way I look.

I have never felt beautiful a day in my life, but I really want to. I am getting married to an incredible man who I do not deserve, who is leagues beyond me in his looks. Ever since he proposed I have hit rock bottom because I know how terrible I am going to look in photos, in a dress, etc. My looks have completely robbed me of my joy and I can't look forward to our wedding without absolutely falling apart. I am in counseling but I know it isn't going to help because the only thing that could redeem my face is plastic surgery, and I don't have the money for it.

I am more terrified than I can put into words to post pictures here, but I am desperate and hoping that anyone can give me some advice. I am clueless with hair, makeup, fashion, etc. because I have never felt worth the effort and I just get discouraged when I try and end up feeling the same way about myself. These pictures are "as good as it gets" and it's absolutely irredeemable. Is there anything I can do, any part of me that is not a complete waste? I know that my ugliness is beyond my control and just a bad genetic dice roll (my father is also incredibly ugly, and I took after him instead of my beautiful mother) but in a world where physical beauty is all that matters, I feel like I have no place being here. I desperately just want to feel beautiful on my wedding day even if I never feel that way again, just once in my life and I will never ask for anything else. But right now that seems impossible.

Is there any advice anyone can give me on how to look better beyond plastic surgery?

Thank you for your help.

https://preview.redd.it/avwww00xiqlc1.jpg?width=2316&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7a3f42f4a80e01233037f5a1acd3dc0e9fc94996

https://preview.redd.it/61ps050xiqlc1.jpg?width=2316&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=760391021c90f4ea9eb698df0083f7b28b7363d7

https://preview.redd.it/xcu6v70xiqlc1.jpg?width=2316&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9f5ba4fe086b558e176bd6fcdd3ddabb722b847b

https://preview.redd.it/003y6c0xiqlc1.jpg?width=2316&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c0951baea3c972cd1efba80396c25ae2ea4f63d0

Comments

you look like a completely average attractive lady I'd see out and about... great skin, nice eyebrows, beautiful hair...

the issue?? your mind. it's playing tricks on you. i know it has been said already in the comments but therapy and probably meds..? are going to be what help you here.

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Posted
6 months ago