To the glorious liege Mob and affiliates,

I am lone man from a town of frowns come to offer my time and energy to the glorious Dictator and his Land of Fun. My life's work has been an effort to invert the frowns of those around me, and I have learned that often the best method for this is an iron fist. Should the people refuse to smile there are methods (largely involving meat hooks) that can force them to.

Beyond the realm of clowning I also have experience in military tactics, historical studies, and my work as an entertainer lends itself to diplomacy as well.

Should there be a spot among your ranks for someone such as myself it would be an honor and my privileged to pledge my fealty to Funland.

With regards and anticipation,

/u/theFrownTownClown