I am writing this on behalf of my boyfriend. I am desperate for help.

He is 24 M but I have known him since he was 21 M. For the 3 years I have known him he has had a lot of trouble getting and maintaining erections.

Whenever we change positions, he tends to lose the erection and has to manually get himself hard again. Sometimes at the beginning even after foreplay he isn’t hard. Mid penetration, he reaches up to turn on the ceiling fan, boom flaccid. To a point where I don’t like to change positions anymore because usually each change requires 5 minutes of me awkwardly sitting there watch him jerk off his soft dick in front of me (after 3 yrs I’m tired of blowjob every 5 minutes to keep him hard). He will not take viagra or anything else.

He has really bad mood issues, gets aggressive and angry in an instant, I guess it could be attributed to his personality but I suspect he has low T. He vehemently denies it without any proof. He has abundant facial and body hair, normal voice, normal fat/muscle composition. One thing I noted is he has horrible memory, and extremely frequent false memories. He will remember extravagant details in our shared memories that never happened, or even remember texts/calls coming in that never came in.

He says the ED is caused by nerves, but how is it nerves after 3 years? He doesn’t even want to fuck me most of the time. He won’t go to the lab and get a test- says he doesn’t want to get on hormone therapy. Are those saliva tests any accurate? I figure if I can order a saliva test to our home then maybe he will be more inclined since it would hardly be an inconvenience.

Could it really be nerves, or is it biological at this point? Can nerves really get this far? He says he is turned on but his dick isn’t on the same page. Is TRT a life sentence? Any way to fix this without hormone therapy?

Sorry for the rant. Feels like an avoidance of testing out of spite towards my badgering and fear of the potential reality. But I know things would only improve after testing. Unless that’s not true? Don’t know how to move forward.